In your latest column, you wrote that you had survived a "combat situation in Argentina during the Falklands War." That's something that I don't think a lot of people know about you. Have you thought about writing a book about it? I bet it would be a bestseller, because it would be the first book to document Britain's secret invasion of the Argentine mainland--an operation so stealthy, that you are the only person who witnessed it.
I want to learn more about this important battle. How many casualties did the British take as they stormed the bar in the Alvear Palace Hotel?Were you able to grab a waitress' ass as you took refuge under a table? Did they comp your drinks to make up for the inconvenience? Your fans want to hear all about it.