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President Bush Vows To Protect Us..

...from the Evil Zombiefascists

(adjust the volume in the bottom right if you can't hear clearly)

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103 Comments
mister mix's picture

ok that's funny stuff

Faux is Fiction's picture

fristy

disgusted's picture

Thats like saying his support base is going to molest children or perform homosexual acts. The only thing he is protecting is his Crimminal Buddies and you know what buddies do they go down town and get two blow jobs then give you one.

Count No Account's picture

I'm hearing something, but adjusting my volume isn't making it any clearer.

mister mix's picture

for the first 3 seconds i thought this was real. bahahaahahah

L.A. Confidential's picture

And why even bother to vote anymore? They wonder why so few do vote, well here you go. Or the "ferocious" Dems are another example.

marbotty's picture

That was awesome.

Chip's picture
LOL

LOL

exit7a's picture

great.. I feel much safer...Like he has been right about everything else..F'n tool

strawberry's picture

Oh Gawd! Friggin' funny. Thanks SP I needed that.

Salmineo's picture

Adolescent.

Sorry, not funny.

[Your "concern" has been duly noted. Thank you for sharing]

Old Billy's picture

Childish.
And very funny.

Ruthless People's picture

Good one!

Cheney being a zombie. Interesting theory. Cheney is the undead and the doctors just think these triple bypass surgeries have been keeping him alive. As long as there is oil to drink Cheney will be roaming the earth starting wars and haunting mankind.

L.A. Confidential's picture

God, things seemed so much better in the world last week.

Dana's picture

LOL! Good one.
:D

Salmineo's picture

Maybe its because I've never considered Zombie movies art...or...even entertainment.

I don't know. Its just not funny.

I'm anti-zombie biased...or something.

IrresistibleB1tch's picture

omfg... i so needed that! :-D

Paul's picture

Salmineo at 11

something tells me you need to take a funny pill, lighten up please!

Ruthless People's picture

The good joke was the reporter. The bad joke was and always will be Bush.

Jack Damage's picture

Riiigghht... So now the republicans, after having ruined or attempted to ruin the reputations of women who desire to control their own bodies and fate, ruined the reputation of gays, especially log cabin gays, ruined the reputation of our armed services and foreign policies, wrecked the reputation of the DOJ along with blonde women specifically who oddly enough tend to cleave to them by using these blonde women and children at every photo-op imaginable.. Fat white guys? Ditto that... After all that mucking about, they still aren't happy at 1600 Pennsylvania..

Now they want to start in on the reputations of the poor old zombie community... I mean its not like these brain eating creatures can really defend themselves... Scary movie plotlines to the contrary, the reality is, even pre-schoolers properly warned can outrun these slow moving creatures...
Why don't you republicans pick on some real monsters... Oh wait, that would mean you guys have to go after yourselves...
Hmmmm, actually you guys on the right do that already... I guess noone is really safe from you pricks.....Imagine that...heheh.....JD

Salmineo's picture

Paul @ 18:

Salmineo at 11

something tells me you need to take a funny pill, lighten up please!

Yes, of course, a funny pill.

Kay's picture

That is simply beautiful. Part of me thinks that W could really make an argument for stripping us of our rights to protect us from zombies.

Ruthless People's picture

The real joke is that an incompetent, illiterate, coked up, drunk frat boy could protect us from anything.

L.A. Confidential's picture

Salmineo @ 16:

Maybe its because I've never considered Zombie movies art...or...even entertainment.

I don't know. Its just not funny.

I'm anti-zombie biased...or something.

We're attempting to create a semblance of Eisenhower-era plenitude in our daily lives.

jr's picture

classic video

moonsha's picture

Kay...at this point, Bush does not even need to make an argument with Blue Dogs rolling over and rubber stamping Bush's demands.

celsius's picture

WOW! That was funny indeed. Doubleplusextra good with Cheney at the end too.

Seneca's picture

HAH! That was great.

Salmineo's picture

L.A. Confidential @ 24:

Salmineo @ 16:

Maybe its because I've never considered Zombie movies art...or...even entertainment.

I don't know. Its just not funny.

I'm anti-zombie biased...or something.

We're attempting to create a semblance of Eisenhower-era plenitude in our daily lives.

I'm working on it. I might get there....some day.....but right now......"silly" is the best I can do for this skit.

[Lighten up, Francis]

tyree's picture

dont worry the way that cocksuckers going thier wont be anything to protect!

Rich in San Bruno's picture

Hasn't he done enough???

Rich in San Bruno's picture

Maybe he can... "TURN HIMSELF IN!!"

Jo's picture

wicked cute!

L.A. Confidential's picture

Ah, I knew something was cooking.

Wed Aug 8, 12:04 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The government is planning a workplace crackdown on illegal immigrants after Congress failed to overhaul immigration laws, a Homeland Security Department spokesman said on Wednesday.

Salmineo's picture

[Deleted. Yesterday you were whining about Colbert, today you are whining about this. You are starting to sound like a concern troll.]

Greg's picture

That was hilarious. The best part was The Zombie Cheney lurking in the bushes. Be afraid.

nonny mouse's picture

I thought this was amusing, if my 'vote' is required on the laugh-o-meter. But it does have a edge underneath - Bush is trying to treat Americans like children, needing to be 'protected' from the boogy-monsters he's made up himself. Fighting imaginary zombies is about all Bush can do - he sure as hell can't protect Americans from the more real and dangerous threat of unaffordable health care, transport infrastructures so weakened bridges are falling down, the sheer number of jobs vanishing overseas, the plunging worth of the dollar, a fragile housing market, a deficit so astronomically high it's unlikely we'll be able to recover for decades - if ever - an intellectual lobotomization of our school system, a slow but real brain drain of anyone with any brains left (those that haven't been eaten by zombies, one must assume) who are choosing to leave the States for better opportunities elsewhere, a NASA programme so demoralized astronauts are starting to act like the sort of Bushoid frat brats, police forces all over the country acting more and more like the Gestapo, a justice system gutted of any real legitimacy or honour... So many real dangers Americans are facing, but at least we know that Bush will keep us safe from the imaginary monsters 'over there' who want to come 'over here' and eat our brains...

Sad. Now it's not funny anymore...

tyree's picture

scared the crap out of me , never seen a zombie with a full load in its pants before!

LibertyLover's picture

So much beter than that Fox comedy show... even though Bush wouldn't allow more than one followup question per reporter.

Ruthless People's picture

nonny mouse @ 37:

I thought this was amusing, if my 'vote' is required on the laugh-o-meter. But it does have a edge underneath - Bush is trying to treat Americans like children, needing to be 'protected' from the boogy-monsters he's made up himself. Fighting imaginary zombies is about all Bush can do - he sure as hell can't protect Americans from the more real and dangerous threat of unaffordable health care, transport infrastructures so weakened bridges are falling down, the sheer number of jobs vanishing overseas, the plunging worth of the dollar, a fragile housing market, a deficit so astronomically high it's unlikely we'll be able to recover for decades - if ever - an intellectual lobotomization of our school system, a slow but real brain drain of anyone with any brains left (those that haven't been eaten by zombies, one must assume) who are choosing to leave the States for better opportunities elsewhere, a NASA programme so demoralized astronauts are starting to act like the sort of Bushoid frat brats, police forces all over the country acting more and more like the Gestapo, a justice system gutted of any real legitimacy or honour... So many real dangers Americans are facing, but at least we know that Bush will keep us safe from the imaginary monsters 'over there' who want to come 'over here' and eat our brains...

Sad. Now it's not funny anymore...

Absolutely. That was the whole point. For a satire to be funny it has to have a ring of truth to it. In this case the ring is a fire alarm.

tyree's picture

hi nonny , sorry but im afraid to many americans have allready had their shitty brains eaten by the bush gang!

Salmineo's picture

[Deleted. Good bye]

L.A. Confidential's picture

tyree @ 41:

hi nonny , sorry but im afraid to many americans have allready had their shitty brains eaten by the bush gang!

Bush wants to demand an immediate universal draft, the internet would be shut down immediately and such wonderful ideas as National ID Cards would be dusted off and implemented.

Smack_dab's picture

Maybe it's just me, but this would normally be funny if this country wasn't so fucked and Bush is the one doing the fucking. I just can't see Bush as being funny in any way other than him sniveling for his life at a war crimes trial.

tyree's picture

L.A. Confidential @ 43:

tyree @ 41:

hi nonny , sorry but im afraid to many americans have allready had their shitty brains eaten by the bush gang!

Bush wants to demand an immediate universal draft, the internet would be shut down immediately and such wonderful ideas as National ID Cards would be dusted off and implemented.

i cant wait for some dipshit to stop me on the street and demand to see if my papers are in order , seigh hiel!

WashStateBlue's picture

L.A. Confidential @ 34:

Ah, I knew something was cooking.

Wed Aug 8, 12:04 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The government is planning a workplace crackdown on illegal immigrants after Congress failed to overhaul immigration laws, a Homeland Security Department spokesman said on Wednesday.

Very Astute!

Ah, another Karl Rove hatched plan?

Throw a bone to the up and comers, Mitt and Freddie? (wonder who's he's made the deal with)....They can laud this to the ravenous base, the Crackdown on the Browns!

And, now, they will force Clinton, Obama, et all to come out against this..which will fire up the base, who is lukewarm on the pygmies running for the Republic ticket. They need an issue, and they have to make immigration it, cause the rest of the candy bag is empty this time around....

And, of course no BIG Republic contributor companies will be targeted in this action, because, as we know, though The Republics hate Brown People, Republic Tycoons love cheap wages and no benefits!

It's a WIN-WIN-WIN for Karl, another ClusterF*ck for the US people!

L.A. Confidential's picture

Smack_dab @ 44:

Maybe it's just me, but this would normally be funny if this country wasn't so fucked and Bush is the one doing the fucking. I just can't see Bush as being funny in any way other than him sniveling for his life at a war crimes trial.

It's a way to have some laughs in the face of a gruesome future.

tyree's picture

bush gives new meaning to the underground!

Satyagraha's picture

As a Zombie-lover myself, I find it surprising that Bush would be on our side, should Zombies really rear their half-eaten heads. He'd be the first one, wouldn't he?

tyree's picture

ach sooooooooooooooo mine herr!

StCyrlyMe's picture

If protection is what this bastard is offering, I would much rather DIE.

LanceThruster's picture

If only Shrub were smart enough to be a zombie ("Must...have...brains!). If only we were smart enough to figure out a way to make our representatives send him packing.

PLEASE DON'T CREATE A POLICE STATE ON MY ACCOUNT!

Bored's picture

I know this is meant as parody, but the rights of the undead are something that do need to be addressed.

B

NiceNCool1's picture

He can start by resigning.

Other than that I need no protection accept to be protected FROM our own government.

These politicians must be out of their minds to think they can REALLY protect anyone from anything.

NiceNCool1

Proud American's picture

Bush VOWS to protect us ....my ass. Just like his federal government protected us from 911? Just like his federal government protected our levees in New Orleans? Or like he protected our civil rights? And protected the interests of the soldiers families? And protected us from Bankruptcies and foreclosures? Like his federal government protected the employees and the stakeholders and the stock investors of ENRON Corporation? Yes.....he sure protected our voters rights alright. And protected our treasury. Oh yeah...he also protected our childrens rights to education and health coverage. Bush protected our environment that's why the world is in a clear cut global warming. Yes bush government made sure he had his say when the shivo case was there, because he wants to make sure he protected life, and he sure did protected alot of lives in IRAQ including OSAMA bin Ladin and his Al Queada.

BUT his most important accomplishment is to protect Bin Ladin's family escape during 911 and while protecting his interest and cheney's interest in corporate OIL deals with the middle east.

YES BUSH government PROTECTED us alright........THE WORLD will thank him and remember him in the future if we end up having one.....That HE is the leader that PROTECTED US and the WORLD.

right on!'s picture

Bush can't protect anyone... not even himself. He's disposable and will see one day that's the case.

As for trust him, my ass!! Not on your life! or mine for that matter. A lying liar lies and nobody should trust this waste of skin.

Triple Lei's picture

Brilliant!

I gotta steal this bit...

Daisy Zimmerly's picture

OK, I'll admit it. I'm posting even though I didn't listen to the video. I just can't listen to this trained monkey anymore. I'd rather drag my fingernails across a blackboard than hear his sniveling twang or look at his smirking face, or is that his ass. It's hard to tell them apart.

Proud American's picture

Bush is nothing but a spit...........a big flem. A mouth full of lies...........

The only protection this country need is protection from HIM and his administration........

JohnnyBravo's picture

Please don't give GW Moron any more ideas :-)

Impeach!

Doggiebobo's picture

Needless to say, I cannot click on the video because just to see that asshole
makes me puke, therefore cannot comment on what he may have said, other than
to say that he is a prick and worst of all presidents.

truth hurts's picture

only one question WHY THE HECK IS AMERICA UNDER ATTACK AND ALWAYS IN DANGER ON HIS WATCH?

Straight Shooter's picture

I rarely watch video clips with bush, and don't watch television. How in the world does anybody stand this man? His arguments are childlike, and his body language is obnoxious.

One thing is for sure, if the zombies catch bush, it will be an appetizer, not a meal.

gc's picture

Is good. Two thumbs up.

One constructive comment to the filmmakers: if you had used more than one "reporter" asking the questions it would have been cooler.

myiq2xu's picture

Q: What's the difference between a zombie and a Republican?

A: A zombie only wants to suck your brains.

Bush Bites's picture

That's the first explanation for cheney that makes sense.

[...] Clark Contact the Webmaster Link to Article george w bush President Bush Vows To Protect Us.. » Posted at Crooks and Liars on [...]

Liberal AND Proud's picture

The President is a talking sphincter.

SCHRODINGER'S CAT's picture

truth hurts @ # 62

"WHY THE HECK IS AMERICA UNDER ATTACK.....?

GOOD QUESTION

There is a NEWSWEEK POST on MSN " ONE NATION UNDER GUN"

Some thing is off the rails.

hello's picture

Brilliant vid and concept, imo

I honestly do suffer recurring nightmares about zombies, so I found this vid to be both hilarious and terrifying all at the same time.

capnmike's picture

George W. Bush is a total lying asshole...just looking at his smirking beady-eyed face makes me want to puke. The only protection I want is protection from HIM and his ilk.

concernedmom's picture

L.A. Confidential @ 34:

Ah, I knew something was cooking.

Wed Aug 8, 12:04 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The government is planning a workplace crackdown on illegal immigrants after Congress failed to overhaul immigration laws, a Homeland Security Department spokesman said on Wednesday.

I bet they are. If the laws currently on the books were enforced, and fines leveed that would really hurt, I'm guessing that the hiring of illegal workers would end pretty quickly. As long as companies are allowed to get away with this, or at most get a small slap on the wrist, the status quo will continue. Tomorrow we will hear from some industry threatening that the price of their product will go through the roof if they are forced to pay a living wage to workers. Truth be told, they are only worried about the reduction in the obscene profits they make on the backs of workers who have no voice.

POTUS_Siren_Song_Is_Old's picture

This President on January 2001, promised the same thing. It didnt work then. Why should we believe him now?

Patriot Scholar's picture

Isn't he really saying "Leave me alone to do whatever I want and the Republican Party won't bomb you." Oops, did I say that?

momofsonofwar's picture

just go away and never come back

rpppolyp's picture

SOOO happy to see AAR Morning Sedition alum Barry Lenk (also of the Lenk and Earl Show) up and that them again. He did a great on on Gonzales at http://www.youtube.com/user/MyEverythingdotcom

Tony Snow's picture

How'd they get him to cooperate with this skit?

mudshark's picture

Cheeney...the walking dead..hehehe...well.. that put a smile on my face.but to hear booosh and his bullshit...ughhhhh...

sulphurdunn's picture

I would prefer that George Bush content himself with maybe just once keeping the legal vow he has taken to support, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Indigowatcher's picture

"It's good for 'em. They'll like it!"

HAAAAHAHAHA!

cowboyneok's picture

Hilarious, but seriously, does anyone but me get outraged President Bush can't stand behind the podium like an adult? That juvenile, impetuous swinging his foot back and forth on the toe of his shoe makes me wish I could walk up and shake him and yell, "Grow the HELL UP! STOP acting like a FIVE YEAR OLD who has to pee! Don't you realize you REPRESENT the United States of America when you speak?"

Stonicus's picture

Amusing. Slightly entertaining. Funny? I wouldn't go that far. About half way through, I'm like "OK, I get it... anything else?" But no, there was nothing else.

scott's picture

Makin' fun of the parzident aint' funny, y'all!
Y'all hates god.

jwazzz's picture

Hilarious - and we all needed the laugh.

PROUD AMERICAN's picture

This is the jerk that said...something like...I'll leave it up to the next president when to end the war. We will not cut and run. We will stay the course....heh heh heh...

The boy that said ya doowin a heckava job Brownie.

crazylove's picture

How about a fastforward straight to this bag 'o' shit's downfall.

That's the kind of fantasy with a tingle of joy with shafts of light emanating peace in the aftermath to all sentient beings the world over. People would smile and say 'hi' and tip their hats again, life in all it's forms would recover and thrive the skies variagated and fresh, coral reefs regenerate and sea life leap into the air in unrestrained liberation.

Paul's picture

With Bush covering our backs, who needs muggers, murderers, thieves, rapists or enemies?

Watchdog's picture

Ruthless People @ 13:

Good one!

Cheney being a zombie. Interesting theory. Cheney is the undead and the doctors just think these triple bypass surgeries have been keeping him alive. As long as there is oil to drink Cheney will be roaming the earth starting wars and haunting mankind.

Oh my god, Cheney is really Mumm-ra!

crazylove's picture

Watchdog @ 88:

Ruthless People @ 13:

Good one!

Cheney being a zombie. Interesting theory. Cheney is the undead and the doctors just think these triple bypass surgeries have been keeping him alive. As long as there is oil to drink Cheney will be roaming the earth starting wars and haunting mankind.

Oh my god, Cheney is really Mumm-ra!

In real life stents, surgeries, heart medications only get so far. This man ain't natural.

Gronk's picture

The thought of Our Fearless Leader stalking the halls of the White House for zombie tourists makes me feel safer. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

(_(_)'s picture

Now that was funny. :D

...but, 8O Cheney is a scary dude.

ysbaddaden's picture

Zombies don't eat brains or any other kinds of meat. Nor do they eat any sugar or salt. They only eat a thin gruel, anything with flavor reminds them they are dead, and god help whoever stops them from returning to their graves.

Newer research suggests that there was a paralyzing drug used that caused catalepsy based on the excretions from the sexual glands of the puffer fish (our term for the fish. Japanese call it mugu, but I can't remember what the Haitians called it.) Then once revived with simple smelling salts and camphor the deluded person believed he truly was a zombie and would obey his master unquestioningly.

Kind of like Republicans.

ysbaddaden's picture

Paul @ 87:

With Bush covering our backs, who needs muggers, murderers, thieves, rapists or enemies?

With boosh, who needs enemas?

paul's picture

comedy imitates truth. let's get on with impeachment.

mike's picture

Holy Cow! This guy is Barry Lank. He was part of a comedy team in San Francisco in the late 80's, early 90's called "Lank and Earl" with Jim Earl. I haven't seen him in 15 years. These guys were hilarious. Their best bit, for my money, was when God sat in guest hosting for a radio talk show host.

GOD: This is the Bob O'Hannley show. Bob is out today. I''l be sitting in for him today. This is God, The Father Almighty, Creater of Heaven and Earth.

CALLER: Hello?
GOD: Go ahead. Line One. You're on the air with God.
CALLER: I don't believe you're God.
GOD: Okay ... right now it's raining frogs outside your window.
CALLER: So.
GOD: What do you mean, "So?"
CALLER: So ... Bob could do that.
GOD: Line two.
CALLER: I don't beleive there's a god, I never believed in god, I never will believe in god ... Hey! My eyes! What happened to my eyes??!! I can't see!!!
GOD: The next caller is David from Sacramento. David, your on the air with God. Ask me anything about anything, the origin of the universe, the creation of life, any questions about my son Jesus Christ, anything at all; now's you chance to ask.
CALLER: Nah. I'll just call in again when Bob gets back.

EZ's picture

May be he will protect us after killing and destroying like he did in Iraq. First let him clean Iraq and implement democracy. Only then, I shall believe this president. He will wipe out iraqi citizens and then claim victory because he will then own every oil field.

Were was he on 9/11? Was he waiting in the classroom for the terrorists to blow up most of the infrastructure to make a case for the iraq war?

What about his privatizing of the social security? Is that protection?

What about the damned health care system? Only the rich get richer and the middle-class are bearing the brunt.

What about the poppies growing in Afghanistan and shipping it to the U.S? Isn't that destroying the people? Is that protection, Mr. President?

EZ's picture

I would like Mr. President to protect us from himself and his men. Thank you.

Batocchio's picture

Well done!

dick head's picture

all joking aside, the fight will go on, within 90 days it will start again...last time I looked the laws are for all of us, except them?
goodlucktoall,
dick

Lori's picture

That was HILARIOUS!! One of the funniest videos I've seen on Crooks and Liars! Thank you!!!!!

Lori

FdeBear's picture

zZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

MyEverything's picture

We’re the ones who produced this video. Thanks for posting it. We have other videos as well as a new political satire show we do over at The Big Picture on Myeverything.com - http://www.myeverything.com/#THE%20BIG%20PICTURE///

Tom's picture

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