Stephen Colbert is only concerned for our children. That's why when he heard that absinthe is making a comeback among young people, he came up with an "absinthetinence" pledge.
I, state your name, do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe. Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient synthetic inspiration and sinister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.
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