Write Your Own Caption
By Nicole Belle Monday Aug 25, 2008 4:00pm
Courtesy of the Dependable Renegade
John Amato’s virtual online magazine…OK, It’s a blog!
©2009 Crooks And Liars
Courtesy of the Dependable Renegade
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somebody get the jumper cables, looks like he locked up again.
"But Jay, what most people don't understand about the fact that I was a POW for five and a half years is that I WAS A POW FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!"
Those taking Cialis should seek medical help if you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
Oops! So that's where the rubber duckie disappeared to!
The Metamucil kicks in!
Oops I crapped my pants.
I gotta GO RIGHT NOW
If I were to ask you not to mention your POW experience when responding to my next question, what would you do?
Uh-oh...those prunes finally fell through...
"If the pilot's good, I mean if he's reeeally sharp, he can barrel that thing in so low, oh it's a sight to see. You wouldn't expect it with a big ol' plane like a '52, but varrrooom! The jet exhaust... frying chickens in the barnyard!"
Carol, no!
POW: Politician of Wealth
At his age, you wouldn't think a fart would take him by surprise.
*
See Jay, if I stretch like this, I may be able to make my head bigger than yours.
This is what I think the people I bombed looked like when they realized they were about to die. Then I was a POW.
I just made a Karl Rove in my skivvies.
The spirits want me to acknowledge a 'j' name. Maybe 'John' or 'James?' Is there anyone in the audience who knows a 'John' or a 'James?' No? Really? What are the odds of that? How about a 'George?' Am I even getting close here? No?
Anyway, did I ever tell you that I was POW?
I never used the fact that I was a POW for 5 1/2 as an excuse for anything! I wouldn't do that because I was a POW for 5 1/2 years.
Did I put on my Depends?
Seen above--The Manchurian candidate hears a voice for the past calling him to act now.
Darth McCain, moments before striking Leno with his force lightning.
Whoooooooooops, hang on a minute Jay..........POW flashback coming................Whoah........WHOAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oops....Uh...uh.......I was a POW......the VC put the poop in my pants.
"Did I mention I was a POW?"
They're giving Conan's spot to Jimmy Fallon?
"....There I was, in a POW camp , surrounded by nothing but dirt walls...no chair, no table ...I WAS POW fer fuck sake Jay!!"
Oh wait, that's what he actually said. I can't make up anything more ridicules than that!
"POW, POW, POW, POW, POW.... Sorry, what was your question? Oh yes, POW!"
VietVet67 @ 19:
Beat me to it.
Leadership @ 16:
Trittydi @ 13:
BrittishAnger @ 9:
Brad @ 7:
seth @ 6:
Minstrel @ 5:
Lol! Everyone seems to have written a similar Craption!
Oh my God! The cameraman looks like Pol Pot! That reminds me, did I ever tell you........?
"What do you mean I'm missing Matlock?"
"Then I showed her my 'OH' face, like this!"
"This is the look Cindy had when I called her a *beep*"
Casper the friendly ghost live on T.V.
Jay-"Mr. McCain, there's no dog there for you to pet, you're imagining it."
Where will YOU be when diarrhea strikes?
CatAtomic @ 32:
Mexico?
This is my 'wet start' face...you know, the face I make when I do a 'wet start'...heh heh, my friends, I'm not talking about Depends...heh heh heh I rhymed...what rhymes with POW? Wow! Where was I? Oh yes, my friends, this is my wet start face, reminds me of the time I pulled a wet start and blew up the Forrestal, killing 160+ men. Boy, those wet starts, my friends, they'll getcha.
Ooh! I sharted.
"John are you sure you want your Rushmore pose to look like that?"
"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
He seems to have a bit of a greenish tint to me, doesn't he?
Oh, NO! VOTERS!
I dreamed I was a POW, in my Maidenform bra!
'Scuse me while I whip this out!
[Screams, pandemonium in the audience.]
Where will you be when YOUR diarrhea medicine stops working??
I like to make faces because for five and a half years I wasn't allowed to make faces.
LENO: You were a P.O.W. in Vietnam.
MCCAIN: Yes. I'm an American hero.
LENO: Sure, but today you're a P.O.Dubya to the Iraq war, right?
MCCAIN: WHA?
McCain: I didnt have a table....OOOOOOuuuuhhhhhh! I didn't have a....ooops Imodian.
Leno: Well ahhh... You do know you just shit on our new studio couch!
Second Day of Democratic Convention begins.
C-span coverage:
RealPlayer:
http://www.c-span.org/Watch/C-SPAN_rm.aspx
Windows Media:
http://www.c-span.org/Watch/C-SPAN_wm.aspx
Bevare! Bevare of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys... Puppy dog tails, and BIG FAT SNAILS... Bevare... Take care... Bevare!
...wait...
PULL THE STRING! PULL THE STRING!!!
will full @ 1:
I hate to call it early Will, but i think you nailed it with this caption.
"Oh no, Jay! Do you hear sirens? I think I forgot to turn of the stove in one of my 8 homes!"
And when I got back from vietnam...I saw my wife who had recently been in a car accident....and I've been with Cindy ever since...
Thanks, Oops, I crapped my pants!
I mean runt! My wife can be a silly little RUNT!
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen!
...Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch.
I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass for five and half years...
/got nuthin
Leno: "Anybody see where I put that apple pie? Senator did you sit on that pie?"
McLame: " I SURE HOPE SO!!"
McPOW: Gaaaah, I just went POW in my pants!
Leno: Ugggh, something just went POW up my nose.
We'll be right back with more of Leslie Nielsen
"You're going to the moon, Alice! Bang! Zoom!"
Oops, I craped my pants. (if anyone's seen the SNL commercial you know what I'm saying)
I'm POW, Dammit!
That means: Piece Of Work! Get it?
You shouldn't have pulled my finger
'Oh! and who the hell do you think you are calling me an idiot and a jackass and comparing me to the idiot in the White House, even if I act like him, an idiot and a jackass?'
AUH!
I think I just wetted.
"I was a P.O.W."
OMG, I just POW'd my pants.
Trittydi @ 13:
that one isn't just gas.....
I think my Depends just leaked.
Oh Shit Jay,
you know what i just remembered?
I was a POW.
Leno: When are you going to let me be the funny one again?
Oh, Feels like I just backed into Sen. Craig
I just pooped myself...but I was a POW.
Did I mention I was a POW?
Somebody in the audience is asking himself ... "Was tonight the best night to wear my Grim Reaper costume?"
"...so anyway, whenever I dropped napalm on those gook kids, I could see their mothers going like THIS..."
Oop's - Cheney misses the whole in McCains back again for the Ventriloquist act as McCain yells - Another good pair of Pants Ruined.
Then I saw it. The ring of POWer. It was in my grasp. My preciouuussssss.....
The look on the face of a 73 year old cooter; when he experiences his very first Anal Leakage.
O Noz!
I shoudana eats the chilee
Damn, I thought that one was another brain fart, Jay.
"Jay, just before I give the acceptance speech at the convention next week, the plan is they'll lower me in from the ceiling in a bamboo tiger cage with me reaching out like this..."
"McCain surprised by invisible prostitute"
Look at the expression on Leno's face. Looks like he's thinking, WTF is happening to him?
Leno: "John I don't believe the audience wants to know what you look like when you hold Cindy down like that ...
John? ... John that gesture is really inappropriate could you please stop doing that?"
Leno - "You really think you can be President!"
Made me think of this.
http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg122/wesforster1317/incontinence.jpg
Oh, Oh, Oh and then my guard in the POW camp told me to turn around and...................
Dohhh! Did you just say something about "Viagara" !?!
Oh! I JUST remembered how many homes I have!
It's three o'clock in the morning and the phone just rang.
Man you should have seen the look on my ex's face ... when, told her I was leaving for a rich young trophy wife.
Looks like the face of one of those Nazis right after they figured out they shouldn't have opened the Arc of the Covenant.
Right before his head melted. Or exploded. I forget, but the difference matters little.
Oooop's --- THAT was a CheezWiz Fart
call an ambulance!
"Holy Shit! You mean I'm running for president?!? Why didn't Joe tell me?!?!"
Oh My GOD - I left Cindy in Sturgess with the Bikers!
OOps! I just wet myself...AGAIN!!!
"How's this, Jay? - Mission Accomplished. Hehe. Nailed it."
I remember doot doot
I remember doot doot
They had a swimming pool.
(credit FZ)
Oh no! How do you spell POW?
Snore @ 10:
Okay this is the best one in my book.
What?! I'm doing HOW in the polls?!
In a rare moment of lucidity, Mr. McCain realizes he is no longer a POW and is married to a 'c*nt'.
Uh-oh! Here comes my economic plan!
"That fart reminded me of when the VC crammed a SAM AA missile up my ass and i was forced to sell out the USA to save my own ass Jay"
"And that, Senator McCain, is where babies come from."
Okay, I give up. What the hell was he really saying when he struck that frightening pose?
what ? you mean they dissed palosi last night for voteing for fisa the patriot act no impeachment of bush! why if memmory seves this old mind right , obama voted for the same bills! jay leno says he he well its a basaro world huh john?
Well, Jay, my friends... can I just say that it's a pleasure to be here and that... what's that? A camera?
That reminds me of the cameras shown in 'Apocalypse Now', when Coppola was trying to direct the troops getting off of the helicopter to show more emotion for the news reels... which reminds me of my time as a POW...
[fades away]
The horror... the horror...
"I just made a poopie in my pants!"
Look Jay.....This is how stupid most voters are hehehehe
"So, Senater, You were a POW 40 years ago... what relevance does that have today?"
Oh!! That one was a little runny!!
Oh no...I hope I brought my spare Depends!
Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!
"Oh no, was it five planes I crashed or five homes I own? I can't remember!"
http://www.vietnamveteransagainstjohnmccain.com/cin_mccain_lost_five_u.htm
1e47Kansaskowboy @ 98:
Finally! Someone gets the reference!!!! :)
Hilarious! Kudos to all of you. I tried to think of a caption but I couldn't possibly top these.
Dave
Anyone want to put that pic side-by-side with Bush's "door" moment?
"aaaaaahhhaahahaaaaa...ohh..hhaahaaahhaaaahaaaa..."
"oh, hold on a second here jay, i think my truss just failed"
... and then Condi took off her blouse, and I went - 'whoa, it's a daggone shame Cindi isn't in a wheelchair, my friends!!!
FLASHBACK! FLASHBACK! CHARLIE IN THE TREELINE! CHARLIE IN THE TREELINE! WHERE'S THE O.D.? LIGHT THE PERIMETER! LIGHT THE PERIMETER!
Whoa, sorry Jay, what was I saying? Oh, yes, in my administration we will not be ending the war until the job is done. The people of Cambodia are counting on us.
Cambodia?
Iran, clearly I meant Iran.
You mean Iraq?
Yes, that's what I said.
You said Iran. Actually, you said Cambodia first.
Noun, verb, POW.
"Whaddaya mean the Green Bay Packers don't play in Pittsburg?"
Ooooh. Scary!
McCain: "The gooks! The gooks are haunting me!!"
Leno: "We'll be right back."
Well Jay, It was 5:00 in the morning. And I haven't seen her up that early in years.
And then she turned to me, hair all messed up and no make up.
I was terrified Jay, No man should ever have to go through that.
It was all I could do to turn away before I turned to stone.
Medusa, Jay . medusa. I still get the cold sweats when I think about it.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I mean, he'll see everything, he'll... he'll see the Big Board!"
Brad @ 7:
Never mind, I just did
"the bag broke" McSame ejaculates, and Jay says, "I can smell it here"
Where am I?? Where's Johnny Carson???
"My friends, just before my bombs hit the old men, women and children in Hanoi, they used to always get this look".
Barack's african american?
Triple Lei @ 116:
That's exactly what I was thinkin'
Brrraaaiiinnnsss
My God...he's brown!
And this is the face I made when I realized I forgot to turn my missle alert system on.
In my defence of being shot down, I would like to say that I personally knocked five other fighters out of the sky by crashing them.
McSongbird.
Tran Duk knew his father's wishes, he knew that he was not to activate the device until Subject McCain was safely entrenched in the Oval Office.
But in his years among the Americans, Tran had come to feel sympathy for them. Sitting there, in the Tonight Show audience, his conscience nagged at him.
So, despite his specific orders from Ho Chi Minh himself, Tran activated the Manchurian Transducer and thus revealed the plot to a sleeping America in time for them to catch it and correct their disastrous course before it was too late.
No, no Senator McCain, calm down. It is a Home Economics text, not an Economics 101 text.
(McCain as Grandpa Simpson) DEEAATH!!.......DDDDEEEEEEEEAAAAAATTTTHHHHH!
This is the face McCain makes when the phone rings at 3 A.M.....actually, it's the face he makes when the phone rings pretty much anytime after his 8:30 bedtime.
So, Jay...when it comes to foreign policy, my pat position is to defer to the departm...GOOKS IN THE TREELINE! GOOKS IN THE TREELINE!!...Sorry, Jay...Nam flashback.
" oh no ! Its the ghosts of dubya coming at me !
These are always the best on this blog. No need to add anything, the thread say's it all!
"My nipples are aching of OLD AGE!"
"And I slapped Cindy on her buttocks!"
"Who wants to be a P.O.W? Raise yer hand!"
Passing gas live while on the tonite show , not good . Whooops !
inka @ 127:
I laughed out loud when I read this and continue to laugh every time I read it.
I wasn't SUPPOSED to push the RED button? When I was a POW, pressing the red button was okay at 3 AM!
Damn, Jay, I think I just took a nasty shit! It just squirted out before I had time...But maybe it was just a wet, slimey fart.
But don't let an ol unscheduled bowel movement put a stop to this interview about why I would be a great president. See, we can continue because I'm wearin' Depends, Jay. Know what Depends are? Depends catch stuff, sometimes lots of stuff, and keeps it from dripping down yer leg...
Anyway, did I ever tell you about the time I was a POW? I didn't have a kitchen table then...or a toilet...or Depends...
1- I wasn't supposed to push the RED button? When I was a POW, that's what you dreamed of doing at 3AM!
2- Is this the right pose for fitting my Klu Klux Klan robe?
3- You're kidding...Wo
"So you're telling me that my wife owns seven homes - and here I was trying to join the mile high club with that lobbyist chick when I could have been rocking the condo?"
Assuming he got his usual talking points from from Rove's ass that look from McCain says:
"Oh boo hoo, you women don't have a clue what it's like to feel real pain".
On a positive note: Does anyone know if that awesome song John Legend sang at the convention is available anywhere??
It was called "If you're out there", with the Agape choir(?) backing him up, and was absolutely magnificent.
??
OOp'S, It's my viagra kicking in again.
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