I know, I know. You've all been wondering, where did that incredibly handsome AP Ticker fella go? We were JUST getting comfortable with this deep, penetrating eyes, that oh-so-masculine- whiff of rubbing alcohol and Dilaudid.

Well, the truth is we took a month off. Think of it as a corporate retreat, but with far more swearing and illicit recreational chemicals.

I'm running a little late today, so here's last week's news. This week's news will follow shortly.