December 10, 2016

Thanks to all the distraction and chaos created by this Trump transition team, the extremely pivotal runoff election in Louisiana, taking place today, has gotten pathetically little attention. A victory for Democrat Foster Campbell over John Kennedy (R)

could ensure Republicans lose the solid majority they need to control the Senate. And who knows? Kookier things have already happened.

Colbert throws to his band leader, Jon Batiste, who hails from the Bayou State. Batiste speaks in the Cajun colloquial that only his fellow statesmen would understand. CBS included subtitles to help the rest of us follow along as well.

Sadly we have to resort to our late night comedians to deliver the important news. This is a very poorly covered, yet very important runoff election and we've heard essentially nothing about this. Meanwhile, Twitler the Orange Tyrant is appointing a cabinet of first class annihilators of each department they are supposed to lead.

If you have a few questions about this runoff, here's some helpful hints from GQ:

Wait, I thought the election was over and humanity is doomed?
It mostly is. (And we probably are.) But Louisiana’s voting system is a little different: Multiple candidates from any party can all run on the Election Day ballot, but if no one gets more than 50 percent of the vote, then the top two go to a runoff. It is, to use a technical term, a free-for-all.

What that means is that the election isn’t really over until the last vote on December 10.

So who’s running?

Democrat Foster Campbell, a 69-year-old cattle farmer and public service commissioner, and Republican John N. Kennedy, the state treasurer. Whoever wins will be the deciding factor in how well Senate Democrats can block Republican steamrolling.

Wait, I thought the election was over and humanity is doomed?
It mostly is. (And we probably are.) But Louisiana’s voting system is a little different: Multiple candidates from any party can all run on the Election Day ballot, but if no one gets more than 50 percent of the vote, then the top two go to a runoff. It is, to use a technical term, a free-for-all. What that means is that the election isn’t really over until the last vote on December 10.

But the Republicans already have the majority in the Senate. How can this make a difference?

Despite a net loss of seats, the Republicans hung on to control of the Senate with 51 seats so far. Democrats have a better shot at opposing Trump’s more disastrous-seeming policies and D-list appointees if they need fewer Republicans to side with them against a Trump White House. If Campbell were to win, the split would be 51 Republicans to 49 Democrats and independents, and then all the Democrats need is a few Republicans to jump ship (some, like Rand Paul and John McCain, have already said they plan to oppose Trump on matters of war and torture).

It also helps to get Democrats one more vote away from a tie, which would just be broken by the vice president. In this case, that’s Mike Pence, the smooth-talking theater fan who doesn’t look favorably on rights for non-straight, non-Christian, non-penis-wielding people.

How close is the race?

Going by the polls, Kennedy has a wide, double-digit lead over the Democrat. That said, fund-raising has surged for Campbell since the election, and the Republican National Committee has been setting up offices to work for Kennedy.

No one should ever speculate on anything that happens in this 2016 calendar year. Maybe this is a chance at revenge against the malevolent forces that elected Trump? Let's hope so.

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