Stephen Colbert reads the Mueller Report and concludes: no, you're not crazy and yes, Trump's not innocent. (open thread)
April 19, 2019

On Thursday's Late Night with Stephen Colbert, Stephen returned us firmly to Planet A. “If you just returned to this dimension from the Phantom Zone, I want you to know that today the Mueller report was released.”

“You know how for a couple years now you’ve been thinking, ‘There’s probably bad stuff in the Mueller report that makes Donald Trump look terrible,’ but then something like three weeks ago Attorney General Bill Barr put out his four-page valentine to Donald Trump, and then you thought, ‘Maybe I’m crazy?’ I’m here to tell you, you’re not crazy.”

Colbert reacted to the report's release on CD-ROM. “I’m disappointed. Everyone knows obstruction sounds more authentic on vinyl.”

Colbert also reacted to Trump's response to the Special Counsel appointment, when Trump made the now infamous comment, "This is the end of my presidency. I’m fu*ed.”

“I’m guessing that’s not how an innocent person reacts,” said Colbert.

Colbert then imagined the comment happening to a married couple: “'Honey, it’s late, where have you been?' ‘Oh my God, this is terrible. This is the end of our marriage. I’m f-----.’”

Colbert also responded to this Trump tweet:

“That picture, by the way, is Trump posing next to all the smoke that William Barr just blew up his ass.”

Open thread below...

Can you help us out?

For nearly 20 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit, but now Facebook is drowning us in an ocean of right wing lies. Please give a one-time or recurring donation, or buy a year's subscription for an ad-free experience. Thank you.

Discussion

We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.
Mastodon