April 30, 2019

For reasons only known to itself, yesterday Chase Bank’s social media team tried to be a cool kid and tweeted (and then deleted) one of those oh-so-hip dialog tweets that the Yutes of Today find so charming:

Now, of course the Chase social media team is probably the target demographic of that FAIL (could it have been—¡gasp!—deliberate?) being millennials in debt up to their eyeballs, you know, from spending every penny they have on Avo-Toast (as the Olds insist on believing), while their employer earned $9B Ameros last quarter, and whose CEO Jamie Dimon didn’t know how an average JPMorgan Chase teller could afford to live, well, anywhere.

Dimon’s salary last year: $31M Ameros. That’s a lot of Avo-Toast, buddy.

(JPMorgan Chase also had a public bailout of $12B Ameros during the Great Recession, so maybe they shouldn’t be throwing 25-carat rocks while living in Waterford Crystal mansions.)

Anyway, Senator Professor Warren replied to Chase, and it was a thing of beauty:

Republished with permission from Mock Paper Scissors

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