Dick Cheney Roast Features 'Waterboarding' & 'War Crimes' Jokes

'Waterboarding' Is A Big Joke At the Dick Cheney Roast says guests at the event. Waterboarding & War Criminals Were Some Of The Jokes At Dick Cheney Roast

Lying Dick Cheney flashback: 3/19/2006

SCHIEFFER: Mr. Vice President, all along the government has been very optimistic. You remain optimistic. But I remember when you were saying we'd be greeted as liberators, you played down the insurgency ten months ago. You said it was in its last throes. Do you believe that these optimistic statements may be one of the reasons that people seem to be more skeptical in this country about whether we ought to be in Iraq?
CHENEY: No, I think it has less to do with the statements we've made, which I think were basically accurate and reflect reality, than it does the fact that there is a constant sort of perception if you will that's created because what is newsworthy is the carbomb in Baghdad, it’s not all the work that went on that day in 15 other provinces in terms of making progress in rebuilding Iraq.

Is there any place you'd rather be than at the Dick Cheney roast? I know that's where I'd be --if I was a war criminal. These people are sick and twisted and their good pal Joe Lieberman could be one of their leaders.


Dick Cheney is ready to laugh about waterboarding.

Conservatives gathered at the Plaza hotel in Manhattan Monday night to roast the former Vice President at an event where many of the biggest laugh lines touched on the most controversial policies of a key architect of his administration’s War on Terror. At the gathering, hosted by Commentary, figures including former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and former Attorney General Michael Mukasey drew a mix of chuckles and winces with jokes that left few lines uncrossed, according to three guests.

Senator Joe Lieberman “said something to the effect that it’s nice that we’re all here at the Plaza instead of in cages after some war crimes trial,” recalled one person who was there.

Other major targets included former Secretary of State Colin Powell, mocked for leaking, and President Barack Obama, who was mocked, repeatedly, for the relative strength of Russian President Vladimir Putin. The event, sponsored by Rupert Murdoch, Paul Singer, and other top conservatives (listed here) also starred former Senator Joe Lieberman and Scooter Libby, the Cheney aide jailed for lying to investigators in a leak hunt. Two attendees said the edgy jokes were in appropriate spirit of a roast; the third found them in poor taste, even in that setting. The dinner was, to the surprise of some guests, punctuated by a live performance of Yiddish songs and by a video featuring Cheney’s face on others’ bodies, which Emcee and Commentary editor John Podhoretz joked in an email to BuzzFeed he would release only for $1 million.

“There were some waterboarding jokes that were really tasteless,” the guest said. “I can see the case for enhanced interrogation techniques after Sept. 11, but I can’t really endorse sitting there drinking wine and fancy dinner at the Plaza, laughing uproariously about it.

Cheney himself told one waterboarding joke, the attendees said, which he attributed to Jay Leno. It centered on a one-shot antelope hunting contest in Wyoming in which the loser had to dance with an Indian squaw. Cheney’s shot got caught in the barrel, producing a dispute over whether it counted as a hit or a miss — and Leno, according to Cheney, joked that Cheney wanted to go catch the animal with his bare hands and waterboard it.

I'm surprised that with all these Neocons in one room together, somebody didn't get shot in the face.

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