"Free bananas!"

It's about time the women who have not been sexually harassed by Herman Cain finally speak up.

Who says there are no good jobs anywhere?

I just stumbled upon this help wanted ad for an investigative reporter in Sarasota, Florida. Who wouldn't want to work for this guy? The passion and purpose leaping from this call-to-journalistic-arms is almost enough to persuade anyone to forget the humidity and the snakes in the Governor's mansion and fly into the hurricane. Almost...

We want to add some talent to the Sarasota Herald-Tribune investigative team. Every serious candidate should have a proven track record of conceiving, reporting and writing stellar investigative pieces that provoke change. However, our ideal candidate has also cursed out an editor, had spokespeople hang up on them in anger and threatened to resign at least once because some fool wanted to screw around with their perfect lede.

We do a mix of quick hit investigative work when events call for it and mini-projects that might run for a few days. But every year we like to put together a project way too ambitious for a paper our size because we dream that one day Walt Bogdanich will have to say: “I can’t believe the Sarasota Whatever-Tribune cost me my 20th Pulitzer.” As many of you already know, those kinds of projects can be hellish, soul-sucking, doubt-inducing affairs. But if you’re the type of sicko who likes holing up in a tiny, closed office with reporters of questionable hygiene to build databases from scratch by hand-entering thousands of pages of documents to take on powerful people and institutions that wish you were dead, all for the glorious reward of having readers pick up the paper and glance at your potential prize-winning epic as they flip their way to the Jumble… well, if that sounds like journalism Heaven, then you’re our kind of sicko.

For those unaware of Florida’s reputation, it’s arguably the best news state in the country and not just because of the great public records laws. We have all kinds of corruption, violence and scumbaggery. The 9/11 terrorists trained here. Bush read My Pet Goat here. Our elections are colossal clusterfucks. Our new governor once ran a health care company that got hit with a record fine because of rampant Medicare fraud. We have hurricanes, wildfires, tar balls, bedbugs, diseased citrus trees and an entire town overrun by giant roaches (only one of those things is made up). And we have Disney World and beaches, so bring the whole family.

Send questions, or a resume/cover letter/links to clips to my email address below. If you already have your dream job, please pass this along to someone whose skills you covet. Thanks.

Matthew Doig

Sarasota Herald-Tribune
1741 Main St.
Sarasota FL, 34236
(941) 361-4903
matthew.doig@heraldtribune.com

Good Luck. And if you snag the job, don't let them get their government hands on your Medicare!

Sunday Funnies with a little more from An Idiot Abroad, courtesy of Karl Pilkington, Steve Merchant and Ricky Gervais

Open thread below...

A gay child of a Tea Party candidate finds a way to cope. Hilarious video from the gang at BriteThorn.com.

Open thread below...

Pretty funny rundown from Mithras.

Atrios points out that you "gotta know the players."

viaVague Nihilism

Business leaders tried to depose FDR in 1933, a funny little bit of history they never taught me. History may seem set in stone now, but clearly the past was once a present as fluid as ours is today.

It's a fact I learned watching The Corporation, the most informative of the political docs made the past two years.

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Business leaders tried to depose FDR in 1933, a funny little bit of history they never taught me.
It's a fact I learned watching The Corporation, the most informative of the political docs made the past two years.

Jeb Bush: Hurricane Dennis Could Be Fault of Michael Schiavo

via Swift Report: Florida Governor Jeb Bush has asked a state prosecutor to investigate possible links between Hurricane Dennis and Michael Schiavo. Governor Bush said that he connected Mr. Schiavo with the category 3 storm after realizing that Dennis spelled backwards is actually 'sinned.' read on

This is a pretty funny satire from Deanna Swift.

So Much For Moral Values Molly Ivins

My, my, gonna be a long four years. House Republicans have rewritten the ethics rules so Tom DeLay won't have to resign if indicted after all. Let's hear it for moral values. DeLay is one of the leading forces in making "Republican ethics" into an oxymoron.

The rule was passed in 1993, when Rep. Dan Rostenkowski, chairman of the powerful Ways and Means Committee, was being investigated for ethics violations. And who helped lead the floor fight to force him to resign his powerful position? Why, Tom DeLay, of course. (Actually, it's sort of a funny story. The D's already had a caucus rule that you had to resign from any leadership position if indicted. The R's changed their rules to match the D's, except they deliberately did not make their rule retroactive, so the highly indicted Rep. Joseph McDade, senior Republican on the House Appropriations Committee, could, unlike Rostenkowski, retain his seat.)

DeLay has already been admonished by the House ethics committee three times on separate violations of ethics rules. Please note, that is the Republican-dominated ethics committee. The hilarious rationale offered by the R's for the new rule to exempt DeLay is that no one can accuse them of taking the moral low road here because, "That line of reasoning accepts that exercise of the prosecutor in Texas is legitimate." Uh, that would Ronnie Earle of Austin, who is a known Democrat. One the other hand, Earle is quite noted for having indicted more Democratic officeholders than Republicans, so it's a little hard to argue that this is a partisan political probe. Or it would be, if facts made any difference these days to talk-show screamers...

Court Nominee Gave False Data, Text Shows

Law License Was Suspended Despite Early Denial

Thomas B. Griffith, President Bush's nominee to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, appeared to provide inaccurate information to Utah bar officials about his legal work and lapses in obtaining law licenses over the past year, according to documents released yesterday at his nomination hearing...

Here's a funny statement by someone who supposedly knows the law.

Griffith added that because his license was suspended for administrative reasons, he never considered it a true suspension or disciplinary matter, and did not report it to Utah officials. "The thought never crossed my mind that it was related," he said.

Okay, I'm lost there. What does the word suspension mean?

1) A temporary abrogation or cessation, as of a law or rule.

2) A temporary debarment, as from school or a privilege, especially as a punishment.

Senate Judiciary Chairman Orrin G. Hatch (R-Utah), a longtime friend of Griffith's pledged to "do everything in my power" to help him win confirmation.

I guess lying about being suspended is OK with Orrin.