The Tea Party Report's Susie Sampson seeks out Republicans at the Obama inauguration, and finds they have some very strange ideas.
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For her weekly Tea Party Report, Susie Sampson goes in search of Americans shrieking in fear at the prospect of driving over that awful fiscal cliff and watch the Bush tax cuts expire. Unfortunately, she couldn't really find any. Indeed, they seemed not to care too much.
Best quote: "It's been trickling down all right, but it's been like standing under a tree full of pigeons."
Susie Sampson surveys the frigid landscape of conservative hopes after the 2012 election. Oddly enough, her subjects do not seem to want to celebrate the coming of the Indians as immigrants to America. Hm.
Line of the day: "Protection. I got that in my wallet right now."
Check out the Tea Party Report's YouTube Channel. And enjoy the turkey.
Susie Sampson sets out this week, reporting from Tea Party land, to put together a binder full of women for Mitt Romney. But she has trouble finding takers. See, that's the problem if you decide to have women in the workforce!
However, as you'll see, Susie can be very flexible.
Susie Sampson delves into Tea Party-land, where everyone is jubilant that Mitt Romney didn't impale himself in this week's debate. She also meets a Tea Partier who hates both Obama ("a Muslim") and Romney (dude hates Mormons too). Ah, the GOP is so full of love.
Funny how sore losers make lousy winners too, isn't it?
Everyone's so darned focus on Mitt Romney's disparaging remarks about the "47 Percent" of Americans who are parasitic leeches and will never vote for him. As Susie Sampson explains, he really just looooooves the 53 percent that might elect him President -- you know, the "quality" people.
Susie Sampson went to the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte for the Tea Party Report and found, of course, plenty of evil liberals to interview, including John Kerry. But of far greater import, of course, were the Tea Partiers who showed up outside the convention to protest the evil Democratic Party, especially for its embrace of gay marriage. Notably, one of these was Victoria Jackson, the onetime SNL cast member who has since become one of the nuttiest of the wingnuts.
Best line: "If I was 12 and my hormones kicked in and I was told all of these options, I would be very confused."
Because the Republican National Convention was so damned goofy, Susie Sampson naturally files a spectacularly weird Tea Party Report from Tampa, featuring dimbulb Stephen Baldwin (with perhaps the most tongue-twisted explanation of one's opposition to gay marriage in history) and Newt Gingrich, expounding on his mission to the moon.
Favorite line: "Oh, then why not just marry your dog?"
Susie Sampson files another scintillating report from the front lines of the Tea Party movement, where folks are getting themselves all worked up in a love-your-masters kinda way for the awesome Ayn Randian power of the Mitt Romney-Paul Ryan pairing.
Favorite line: "He's like, a perfect person."
Our pal Susie Sampson gets some sit-down time with our favorite Young Turk, Cenk Uygur, to talk about important stuff like immigration. On a day like this, we can use the laugh.