All this talk about legitimate rape is making me seethe. It's just as well that I didn't have a daughter, because I'd worry every time she went out the door. But if there's one thing I know about rape, you can only lessen the odds - you can't eradicate them completely. And if I had a daughter, I would not want her to walk trembling through this world. I would not want her to think there's no one she can trust.
And yet, I can't forget the forcible rapes (the "good" kind) that happened to the women I know. The friend waiting at the bus stop who got pulled into a car. The teenager who was surrounded on a suburban street, gang-raped and impregnated. The good girl from a religious home, raped by her grandfather and then her father. The young girl on her college orientation weekend, whose guide forced himself on her and left her pregnant. The young student, raped as a tourist in a foreign land. The young professional raped by her old boyfriend after he ran into her at a party. (Acquaintance rapes? Rule of thumb: Once you give it away, it's no longer yours to keep. I can't even keep track of those.)
These girls, these women: You know what their crimes were? That they dared to think they could just walk around, like they weren't women. As if the world belonged to them, too. Like sex wasn't something that men could just take from them, as long as they were stronger and could catch you off guard. It's not yours to give, it's theirs to take.
Men don't always understand that rape is all around. They think if they wouldn't do such a thing, no one else would.