The Wørd: Absinthetinence

icon Download icon Download (h/t BillW for the vids)

Stephen Colbert is only concerned for our children. That's why when he heard that absinthe is making a comeback among young people, he came up with an "absinthetinence" pledge.

I, state your name, do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe. Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient synthetic inspiration and sinister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.

You can watch more videos from Stephen Colbert at Indecision '08


We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service (revised 3/17/2016) for information on our posting policy.