March 30, 2020

Apparently the Coronavirus was wiped off the face of the earth Sunday by televangelist Kenneth Copeland, somewhere around 12 eastern.

Source: Friendly Atheist

Televangelist Kenneth Copeland, who said last week that God told him the coronavirus would “be over much sooner than you think” (but still wants you to tithe even if you’ve lost your job), offered up what I can only assume is a magic spell this morning in order to destroy COVID-19.

And that’s why the pandemic is now over.

(It’s not over.)

Copeland screamed out at Satan to “get off this nation” and “crawl on your belly,” before declaring the crisis to be “over.”

That will no doubt scare the virus into submission.

Copeland's full remarks below:

In the name of Jesus, standing in the office of the prophet of God, I execute judgment on you, COVID-19! I execute judgment on you, Satan! You destroyer! You killer! You get out! You would break your power! You get off this nation! I demand judgment on you! I demand — I demand — I demand a vaccination to come immediately!

I call you dark! I call you doggone! You come down… from your place of authority! Destroyer! You come down and you crawl on your belly, like God commanded you when He put His foot on your head in the Garden of Eden. You will destroy through COVID-19 no more!

It! Is! Finished! It! Is! Over!

And the United States of America is healed and well again.

Can you help us out?

For nearly 20 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit, but now Facebook is drowning us in an ocean of right wing lies. Please give a one-time or recurring donation, or buy a year's subscription for an ad-free experience. Thank you.

Discussion

We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.
Mastodon