"Ah had me lotsa kittees when ah was yorn ayj. Crackin good times ah hed plain widum! Dey so funny runnin rounin sercles for de firecrakuhs goes off den dey jump way up hah deys sho cain jump! Ah be rollinroun laffin when dey scootin aroun on de butt trine put de far out. Den ahd gets me a bran new lil kiddycat."
"...then, in the end, a magical little machine comes in and cleans up all the damage and destruction before their mom is any wiser. I wish I had that magical little machine."
LISA
I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad. So, will you be lecturing from a standardized text, or using the more socratic method of interactive class participation?
"Flash forward to January 21, 2009 - georgie bush returns to school to finish his education", saying that it was "something he always wanted to do, but the cocaine and booze got in the way"
Actually, if you omit the last few pages where the cat and the kids actually CLEAN UP the horrible mess that the cat has made, The Cat in the Hat is a pretty good allegory or Bush’s presidency.
It's so nice to see our commander-in-chief trying to challenge himself by reading so far beyond his grade level. It's like watching a newborn holding a book on quantum mechanics, except the baby would be more likely to understand at least the concept of a book, much less what's inside.
-#49 - I love your comment! I was trying to think of something to say about the "Today is Monday" notes on the board, but you nailed it!
"Hey kids, you 'member how the Cat in the Hat cleaned up all his messes before he walked out the door? Heh, don't count on me doing the same thing, heh heh."
Designed and built by Halliburton Corp. at a cost of two hundred million dollars, the George W Bush Presidential library is set to open soon. Shown here, the President is making the first donation to the library from his Presidential papers. Bring your own crayons.
This book, which one of you will have to read to me, has the very same author as my favorite book, "Hop on Pop". That's what I did when I became prezzidunt, hopped on my pop to show him who was better.
Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of "Hop on Pop."
-- Penn. State University, April 2, 2002
Never mind the caption or book, I seriously challenge the turd to answer all the questions on the chalk board.
Maybe the outcome will teach those kids to put 2 and 2 together when they've seen similar crap flying out of D.C. and they're about to cast their vote.
"I'm trying to prove that childrens is learning. You know, kids...the cat in the hat said, 'you can fool all the mice part of the time, and some of the mice all the time, but not the mice that don't know they're being fooled the rest of the time.' "
"They wus proud when I sey'd ah'd read this 'ere book by Albet Camu with a stranger title than all t'others, so I'm a-gunna give it another shot ... and this time, ah'll stay the course."
Y'all know what this book is about? It's about Congress certifying retroactive immunity for telephone companies for their aid in protecting Amurka after 9/11/01. And if y'all don't endorse this legislation, the turrists win.
Chimpy is only practicing for what he thinks he is going to be doing to replenish his coffers when they take away the keys to the Whitehouse. Could you imagine this jerk giving policy speeches to corporate big wigs?
In all fairness, the President does look like he's having a great time teaching children. Here's a thought, to redeem himself, why not spend the next few years teaching children at an inner city elementary school?
In all fairness, the President does look like he's having a great time teaching children. Here's a thought, to redeem himself, why not spend the next few years teaching children at an inner city elementary school?
Sun, 02/17/2008 - 19:30 — Tommy Gunn (not verified)
This is why we can't let the Democrat Party hold Congress. They're spending way out of control. They want socialized hatcare - a hat for every cat in Am'urca.
We need to cut down on spending and get these hats off of cats - we must be fiscally responsible. Therefore, I am requesting another $70 bil so Iraqi cats can wear fedora hats.
May we torture, George I am
May we tortutre with a cord,
Can we try a waterboard,
Stand erect out in the cold,
Blast loud music til senses dull,
With a cord, with a board,
Stand in cold, Blast to dull,
May we torture, George I am
[Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty prepare to have a swordfight on the stage of the Orpheum Theater]
Sherlock Holmes: Buffoon, is it?
Mrs. Hudson: [Looking on with Dr. Watson] He'll be killed!
Dr. Watson: I quite doubt it, Mrs. Hudson. He's in his element now.
Login or Register to post comments.
"Turd in the Shirt"
Relating to a post Nicole put up last last night. On NBC news tonight there is going to be a story on beef recalls and animal cruelty.
Could someone in the classroom please read this to me?
this is just a fake cover to the book
"what my slutty daughters were caught doing in my bed, oops !"
This book has big words, can someone here come up and read this to me?
"So, Uncle Dick, this is ... is this my Thursday book?"
Caption:
This is the only book we get in our cell. We do get to attend class once a week!
Bush reads a "history" book.
He always looks evil (as well as looking stupid) - even in a kid's classroom...
Oh look, the latest NIE came in...
"President Bush at Monday's Presidential Daily Briefing."
- Tom
"Someday I hope to be able to read books this thick."
HOW DOES I OPEN BOOK
What you see is what we got a dumb drunken druggie President.
Ruthless People @ 1:
LOL!! Ruthlessly funny, as usual. (8-D
Ass in the Class passing Gas
"Class, everybody say hello to our new student, George."
Islamofacists are going to kill the Cat in the Hat unless At&T gets immunity!
"By the time Jenna is President, I'm gonna be able to read this book!!"
After 7 years of No Child Left Behind, Mr. Bush proudly showed the 6th grade students their favorite book.
"Keep me posted on those incoming planes so I'll know when to start reading"
Laura said she'd read this to me tonight .
Standing in front of the PDB
Professor emeritus in his next carreer teaching the incoming class at his alma matter, Yale.
read this book or I'll have all of you waterboarded.
"Ah been told that this here is Osama Bin Laden. Ah cain't seem t' find 'im. Enny of yew kids seen this'n terr'st?"
vou-cha-day! Dogeatdog and Natisman come up the nearly the same answer and we aren't even tied together. Dinner show at 8:00PM
"This book must be French or somethin' 'cause the title don't make no sense to me."
We have the cat at Gitmo, give AT&T immunity or the cat goes.
"You can borrow it -- but don't lose my place."
Here are some suggested titles from an "illiterary" contest: for Bush's Memoir
The smartest Republican get a teaching job at Harvard.
I read this and Camus' "The Stranger" last summer.
"If I shuffle slowly, she won't notice I stole her book"
this is the PNAC's calling card
sort of like when brainwashed assassinators carry a copy of "catcher in the rye"
children this book is a list of the stupid shits that stll like me!
Bush: My book report was on ... The Cat in the Hat.....
Teacher: Uh' Mr. Bush... This is history 101 !?
"Now, this book is about a cat wearing a hat. In other words a hat covered cat. A hatted cat. Like the Jews used to kill for the prodigious son."
awesome shannon
"We now have two books for my GWB Inaugural Library. Let the building begin!
"We have classified this as too subversive a book to be placed in my pretzlydential library; the author was a librul. Burning at 3:45."
No way will the Lorax make it to those shelves...
Ladies and gentlemen of the RNC: I highly recommend this book.
"Ah had me lotsa kittees when ah was yorn ayj. Crackin good times ah hed plain widum! Dey so funny runnin rounin sercles for de firecrakuhs goes off den dey jump way up hah deys sho cain jump! Ah be rollinroun laffin when dey scootin aroun on de butt trine put de far out. Den ahd gets me a bran new lil kiddycat."
curtilingus @ 32:
Hilarious!!!
Look at his face. He's so frickin' weird and creepy... Uncle Creepy up there in front of the class because the teacher caught him cheating again!
Bush allowed back into a classroom. World cringes.
this book asks the question , is you children larning?
There are a lot of really great ideas and ideals in Dr. Seus's books. I doubt george bush shares any of them.
Shannon @ 37:
lol
"killin is hard work...hard work."
In other news:
Air Force wants more military welfare for more weapons of mass destruction
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080218/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/air_force_worn_out...
Guess half trillion of our tax dollars since the Iraq war ain't enough to kill enough for the "Department of Offense".
Shouldn't someone have erased the president's daily briefing from behind him? That information could be useful to terrorists, or 3rd graders.
Just ten more months of this kind of bull shit
guido santa @ 44:
lol
definitely not smarter than a 5th grader
Hey Albairto, check this out-
In spanish it's a gato in a sombrero.
"Bar says I'mma be able to read this win A'mmm 70."
Crook with a Book
FRUSTRATED WITH THE QUESTIONS ON THE BLACKBOARD, BUSH TURNS TO SOMETHING MORE FAMILIAR...
SEE CHILDREN? IT'S BLUE!!
Our illustrious President decides to engage in some HEAVY reading, for a change.
"One fish, two fish ... um ... heh-heh ... you can't get another fish. Heh."
"...then, in the end, a magical little machine comes in and cleans up all the damage and destruction before their mom is any wiser. I wish I had that magical little machine."
Heh heh, would you look at the ears on that cat, heh heh...
LISA
I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad. So, will you be lecturing from a standardized text, or using the more socratic method of interactive class participation?
HOMER
(pause) Yes Lisa, Daddy's a teacher.
This cat is a asshat.
"Flash forward to January 21, 2009 - georgie bush returns to school to finish his education", saying that it was "something he always wanted to do, but the cocaine and booze got in the way"
Ya'll shood read this. Itsa lot better'n that shit mah Jenna wrote. Ah coodn't follow that shit a'tall, Ah tell yew wut!
"You're kidding me, I'm supposed to read all of this in just one day?"
jerk with a smirk pretending to work
Chicken-hawk with the chalk
Actually, if you omit the last few pages where the cat and the kids actually CLEAN UP the horrible mess that the cat has made, The Cat in the Hat is a pretty good allegory or Bush’s presidency.
"No, no, no, come on, what's another name for a kitty...."
The cat in the hat wants his country back...
My Yale final exam was on....
An asshole,while holding a book,
Asked all the children to look,
He attempted to recite,
But words weren't right,
And it turned into gobbledygook.
When I was all hopped up on coke, I sawed this here cat...
"Heheh, think I'll wait fer the movie to come out... or mebbe you kids can give me an executive summary...?"
"One time when I was a kid, heh, heh, heh, I took a cat and put a firecracker up it's butt..."
uh oh, the Prez is reading children's books again, better stay out of tall buildings.
It's so nice to see our commander-in-chief trying to challenge himself by reading so far beyond his grade level. It's like watching a newborn holding a book on quantum mechanics, except the baby would be more likely to understand at least the concept of a book, much less what's inside.
-#49 - I love your comment! I was trying to think of something to say about the "Today is Monday" notes on the board, but you nailed it!
Heh heh, check out that hat, you kids know what a rainbow party is? Heh heh Just our little secret, k?
"Whut ya gotta unnerstan is, I'm gointa duh cafftearya now to put food on our childrens...anits hard werk. Hard werk."
And To Think That I Heard it in the State of the Union Address.
"You never know what's going to happen next when you sit there reading books like these."
Andy Card, where?! Uh oh, uh, teacher I think I made a number two....
"Heh Heh,pay attention kids! Last time I read a book to kids like you, BAM! 9-11!" "Heh heh"
"Hey kids, you 'member how the Cat in the Hat cleaned up all his messes before he walked out the door? Heh, don't count on me doing the same thing, heh heh."
I see little girl's underwear...
I'll be reading some Camus as soon as I finish this gem
Designed and built by Halliburton Corp. at a cost of two hundred million dollars, the George W Bush Presidential library is set to open soon. Shown here, the President is making the first donation to the library from his Presidential papers. Bring your own crayons.
You kids need to tell your parents that if the Democrats don't pass the domestic wiretapping law...this cats gonna die!
steve davis @ 49:
Brilliant! Thanks Steve...
This book, which one of you will have to read to me, has the very same author as my favorite book, "Hop on Pop". That's what I did when I became prezzidunt, hopped on my pop to show him who was better.
"He he he he he he"
Never mind the caption or book, I seriously challenge the turd to answer all the questions on the chalk board.
Maybe the outcome will teach those kids to put 2 and 2 together when they've seen similar crap flying out of D.C. and they're about to cast their vote.
Happy Retarded President Day
The Cat in The Hat Comes Back was part of the Beginner Book Video series along with There's a Wocket in My Pocket! and Fox in Socks.
Sorry kids, Uncle Dick told me all the missing e-mails are in here so this here is classified.
I'm sure glad I get to read this book rather than answer those hard questions on the blackboard.
The Tool in the School
Acting a fool pretending to rule
The Tool in the School
The buildings did not fall
It was too dangerous to say.
So Bush sat in the classroom
All that bad, bad, September day.
past time for the teacher to toss out that defective ruler...
"'How many days are in a week?' Aw, man, these questions sure are tough! Where's Condi? She'll know!"
Yes class, "The Cat in the Hat" is pretty in-thrawlin', but I was totally in-growsed with "My Pet Goat" the first time I picked it up.
Condi helps me with the big words even though Lawra is a lie-brarianer.
"Hey look, I'm holding this book right-side-up!"
As an aside, I think the advice to stay out of tall buildings is spot on.
"I'm trying to prove that childrens is learning. You know, kids...the cat in the hat said, 'you can fool all the mice part of the time, and some of the mice all the time, but not the mice that don't know they're being fooled the rest of the time.' "
"Is (sic) our children learning?"
Today we are gonna read about National Security with this book titled "Caught in the Hack"
I thought he always took off his watch, sort of protective custody, before working a crowd.
"We've amassed powerful evidence that Saddam's weapons of mass destruction may be hidden inside this cat's hat."
"Look at this book (diversion) and maybe you won't notice the biggest crimes of all time in American history..."
"Keep paying attention to the book."
"They wus proud when I sey'd ah'd read this 'ere book by Albet Camu with a stranger title than all t'others, so I'm a-gunna give it another shot ... and this time, ah'll stay the course."
Being President is hard work.
You have to read books.
"And kids, if the cat is a Persian cat, he's better have nine lives, 'cause were going after him."
Here comes Armageddon
Let me put it this way:
Remember the LAST time GW read a book to a group of children?
"Now I'm going to don a cap , so I can be the Crap in the Hat"................
Oh and GW is a douche bag
"Before I learn you all about this here cat let me tell you about what I used to do to cats back in Texas when I was your age."
"Come here sweetie, I want to show you a book."
dab nab it,I gots ta read to these here chilldrenz?
shoot,thar goes my day,how the heck m I to du thet?
C.
A.
T.
ehhhh,ummmm
ehhhhh
ummmmmm
"my favorite book next to the lincoln biorgraphies i
didn'tread."My Pet Goat sure worked wonders for us last time. maybe Cat in the Hat will do it this time"
Dis is mai fabowit book dat my wife weed to meh cuz eets 2 hard. kthxbai
"Hooked On Phonics didn't do jack shit for me"
George W. Bush, demonstrating real progress in his lifelong study of English as a second language.
Y'all know what this book is about? It's about Congress certifying retroactive immunity for telephone companies for their aid in protecting Amurka after 9/11/01. And if y'all don't endorse this legislation, the turrists win.
Now chilldren,this here book is about terrrrists.
"Sorry, teacher, I didn't think I had to read the book, since I already saw the movie!"
"What I have here, folks, is what we're calling an Exit Strategy."
Chimpy is only practicing for what he thinks he is going to be doing to replenish his coffers when they take away the keys to the Whitehouse. Could you imagine this jerk giving policy speeches to corporate big wigs?
In all fairness, the President does look like he's having a great time teaching children. Here's a thought, to redeem himself, why not spend the next few years teaching children at an inner city elementary school?
Joe @ 130:
I wouldn't let my kid go near his classroom
Huh, did you know the guy who wrote this was doctor?
Visit this great site for politics, humor, music and movies: www.insubnation.com
I was going to bring My Pet Wildebeest but Cheney reads this to me at bedtime.
"Sir, America is under attack."
This is why we can't let the Democrat Party hold Congress. They're spending way out of control. They want socialized hatcare - a hat for every cat in Am'urca.
We need to cut down on spending and get these hats off of cats - we must be fiscally responsible. Therefore, I am requesting another $70 bil so Iraqi cats can wear fedora hats.
Who Me????
"I 'member when I wuz readin' at this level. Seems like only yesterday... but it was a few days b'fore that."
He's morphing into an evil Chucky doll before our eyes.
"What did
Iraq"The Cat" have to do with 9/11??!Nothing!!!!"
"And so kids, in the end, the cat comes back and cleans up the BIIIG mess he made of things...heheh, that's a great fairytale."
No, this isn't an autobiography.
"My Iraq war plan was inspired by the characters in this book: Thing One and Thing Two."
filthy criminal piece of shi- worst mass murderer in the history of the United States who will go directly to hell upon death if there is a hell.
Mommy, I want you to read this one.
Did Georgie ride the short bus to class today?
May we torture, George I am
May we tortutre with a cord,
Can we try a waterboard,
Stand erect out in the cold,
Blast loud music til senses dull,
With a cord, with a board,
Stand in cold, Blast to dull,
May we torture, George I am
"And remember, kids---if I hadn'ta did what I done, you'd all be readin' The Cat in the Burqa."
From the movie "Without A Clue":
http://imdb.com/title/tt0096454/quotes
[Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty prepare to have a swordfight on the stage of the Orpheum Theater]
Sherlock Holmes: Buffoon, is it?
Mrs. Hudson: [Looking on with Dr. Watson] He'll be killed!
Dr. Watson: I quite doubt it, Mrs. Hudson. He's in his element now.
quick! make sure dicKKK chainey is not near NORAD!
hey! somebody check for unread PDBs!
"You little darkies can call me B'wana."
Login or Register to post comments.