Welcome, ladies and germs, to the legendary C&L Blog Roundup and Comedy Club. Your emcee is Steven of The Opinion Mill, and he'll be here until Saturday -- or until Mike figures out how to block his e-mails. (Ba-dum, bish!) Be sure to send love and submissions his way at steve[dot]theopinionmill[at]gmail[dot]com, and don't forget to tip your waiter.

Whatever you do, don't talk to a Muslim on Ramadan or the Republicans will call you a traitor. Actually, they'll conduct a push-poll that suggests you're a traitor, then pretend the whole thing was a misunderstanding, but you know what I mean.

So far, Bush's War On Terror (he gets an auteur credit over the title) has been a rollercoaster of suspense -- kind of like an Alfred Hitchcock movie scored to the rumblings of Mike Chertoff's gut. We've had the arrests of the Shoeless Schmoes of Miami, the Jersey Pizza Jihadis and the JFK Jokers who were plotting to blow up an airport with a Bic lighter, but can your heart stand the knuckle-gnawing tension of the Salt Shakin' Seven? Cue shower music from Psycho!

Winger, can you spare a dime? They're scuffling for spare change at National Review Online.

Meanwhile, it's high time we stopped usijg the word "comedian" to describe the Pilonidal Cyst Poster Child. Whackity schmackity doo!

On a cultural note, here's another preview of Redacted, the movie about a 2006 atrocity in Iraq that will have the warwhores screeching and pulling their hair.

BOOK NOOK: David "Babbling" Brooks pretends to have read Jack Kerouac's novel On the Road on the occasion of its 50th anniversary; in response, David "Fafblog" Ehrenstein waxes nostalgic for the days when Brooks was sequestered behind the Times Select firewall. Stop the presses! The reviews are in! My Grandfather's Son, the new memoir by Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas, is a twisted mass of lies and distortions that demonstrate the winger justice has a can of worms for a mind and wouldn't know the truth if it left a pubic hair on his can of Coke. Other than that, though, it might be a fun read.

Don't forget to try the veal!