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Dear Jeff Bezos: You're A Moron. Here's Why.

Amazon Prime is increasing its membership fee - and missing a big opportunity.

Update: I'm a moron, too! There already is a 3-5 day free shipping button for Prime customers. I never noticed because I use one-click ordering. Thanks, Jeff, happy to be wrong.

Dear Jeff,
You're a moron. Do you want to know why? Let me spell it out for you.

I received this email yesterday:

Even as fuel and transportation costs have increased, the price of Prime has remained the same for nine years. Since 2005, the number of items eligible for unlimited free Two-Day Shipping has grown from one million to over 20 million. We also added unlimited access to over 40,000 movies and TV episodes with Prime Instant Video and a selection of over 500,000 books to borrow from the Kindle Owners' Lending Library.

That's reasonable. But you left out something I really, really wanted to see:

In response to your concerns, we are hiring more permanent workers -- with benefits -- and improving the working conditions in all our facilities.

Think of the positive effects. Think of the good publicity. It might be nice to be in feel-good Costco territory, amirite? To know your kids and grandkids won't bring friends home from school who frown and say, "Gee, Mr. Bezos, I've read that you treat workers like crap."

Yes, I know about the air-conditioning. Attaboy.

But I've also read all about your warehouses and how "efficient" they are. Ever hear this law of physics, Jeff?

Anything used to its full potential will break.

And everyone with even a casual interest in workers knows your company (and you, Jeff -- don't shirk responsibility) have broken quite a lot of them, with insane quotas and inhuman speed requirements. Oh, and tossing them aside when they can't keep up, because they're "only" contract workers.

Here's the thing, Jeff. You probably can't find a heavier Amazon user than me (God forgive me). I buy everything I can online. But in the past two years, I've gone out of my way not to do my Christmas shopping (for physical objects) online. I just don't want to make your workers' lives any more miserable than they are.

The ironic thing is, I hardly ever need the two-day shipping. Yes, you're wrecking your workers' health for something I suspect most people don't really need. It was always about the free shipping, not the speed.

If you were as visionary as people say, you'd add another button for Prime customers: "3-5 day free shipping." Because speed isn't worth killing people. [Update: Hey, you are that visionary! But why didn't you publicize it?]

And Jeff, I wouldn't care if you'd added another $10 to your rate increase, if I knew if was going toward treating your workers like humans, not machines.

Sincerely,
A somewhat loyal but concerned customer.

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