Aladamnbama is Texas with six more rebel flags and two extra adult bookstores.

Alan Harper is an Alabama Republican state representative with fifty or sixty fewer IQ points than the rest of the state.

He took to Facebook and posted this warning for all you Christian God Fearing Americans.

I mean, I’m certainly no writing professional, but wouldn’t it have been easier to say only buy from white people?

I like that he’s aware that he’s “painting with a broad brush,” because I’m aware that he’s “acting like a damn fool” and exhibiting “narrow-mindedness with a small brush.”

This dude is so narrow-minded that he can see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Here’s some extra commentary that Harper kindly provided.

Harper later responded to a commenter’s questions about how you would know where to shop with this advice: “Look behind the cash register. Most are owner/operators.”

So, we are looking for brown people with Christmas lights. Damn. That means I gotta quit buying gas at Lopez’s Gas and Tacos where the motto is, “Buy the tacos, you’ll get the gas.”

One question: Can I buy gas from a brown person if they don’t have Christmas lights? Are the lights the secret signal among brown people? If so, Holy Crap! my whole neighborhood is Isis.