Ted Cruz just loves me. He does.

In fact, he loves me so much that he is paying some kinky people to mine information about me from my Facebook page.

A little-known data company, now embedded within Cruz’s campaign and indirectly financed by his primary billionaire benefactor, paid researchers at Cambridge University to gather detailed psychological profiles about the US electorate using a massive pool of mainly unwitting US Facebook users built with an online survey.

I can promise you that he wasted a lot of money to hiring psychologists to figure me out. I’m crazy. I cultivate it.

Seriously, I had someone tell me that a local district court judge was “scared of” me. “He says you can never predict what she’ll next.” Honey, it took me a long time to cultivate that reputation and I flat love it, especially when I surprise myself. I kinda suspect I’m not alone. I kinda suspect that almost everybody here is a little crazy. I mean, the reason were all here is because we ain’t all there.

Okay, but back to Cruz. So, as president, he’s not going to be big on privacy or freedom, but he’ll be able to tell you your favorite dinner and how you hate, just hate, Sally Smith.

I betcha he’s having fun with trolls. I’d love to see a psychological profile on anonymous trolls. Those guys have taken crazy to an art form.