Not many readers know that before I was hired primarily because of my talents covering the EWWWW beat here at Crooks and Liars, I was certified to teach middle school US History by the state of Alabama.

This story is not likely to make it into the sixth-grade curriculum.

And let me further preface this by saying all of it comes from Buzzfeed publishing some notes that may or may not be genuinely based on Russian intelligence. We at Crooks and Liars take it seriously that what we publish as truth be verified as such.

So you should take it with the same grain of salt, you know, that Alex Jones took all the Pizzagate nonsense?

And yeah, what is alleged is pretty unbelieveable, except it's Trump.

The story is that while in Moscow, Donald Trump stayed in the Presidential Suite at the Moscow Ritz-Carleton, where Mr. and Mrs. Obama had once stayed. While in that room, Mr. Trump invited/hired prostitutes to join him and requested that they urinate on the bed once occupied by the then President and his wife.

Okay. That's the story.

And the problem isn't that it's fake news, or that anyone takes it full-on seriously.

Except it's Trump.

And no one, NO ONE, would think to say, "Donald would NEVER even THINK of doing such a thing."

Because we all know he would, Even his ardent supporters know he would. Look at this pro-Donald, pro-Pepe the Frog (yeah) tweet:

Decency isn't a requirement? You coulda fooled a whole lot of Republicans with that during the Clinton impeachment!

Impeachment!

And look at the President supported by Nazis complaining about Nazis.

And the other problem is, that while Donald was in Moscow doing his Miss Universe Pageant "job," the FSB (formerly KGB) had microphones on him 24/7. And they have the tapes. And that is clearly a problem.

Does anyone think Donald did NOTHING in Moscow during Miss Universe that might be even a little blackmail worthy? At all?

He was open to blackmail by Putin. The end.

And let's mention the hypocrisy while we're at it.

The media spent months and months chasing the birther story, because DONALD TRUMP wouldn't let it go. A story without merit or facts.

So do you want some funny tweets? Here.

And finally, an opening bid: