Behold my congressman, Rodney Davis, lying rather promiscuously to Ali Velschi about all the wonderful things that will happen with health care under The Bastard President one of these fine days. How costs will come down. How 51 million Americans who are still uninsured or underinsured will all be taken care of. (No, really, he said that):

REP RODNEY DAVIS (R-IL) We negotiated some changes, positive changes that will help states like Illinois, positive changes to make sure that the rug isn't pulled out from anyone right now. President Trump has been fully engaged. He understands the impact of this bill not passing. He understands the promises that he made and what we need to actually fix this broken health care system that still has left 21 million people without health insurance and 31 million people that can't afford to use the coverage that they have.

How President Trump will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things will have passed away.

Did you notice how much blinking Rodney Davis is doing in this clip? Newbie liar needs practice.

And now is the time to mention that no, Rodney Davis is not in a safe district, and he has clearly sold his soul for a piece of that sweet, sweet, Paul Ryan fundraising cheesecake. Good luck with that Rodney. My wife is a knitter, and has had a hard time getting pink pussy-hat yarn locally. Let that sink in.

Of course, golly, none of Rodney's rosy future will happen now. (Or soon. Or ever.) Now the Republican congress needs to toe the f**king party line and help Rodney Davis pass this monstrously evil piece-of-shite bill because Davis is now fully a creature of The Bastard President.

Yes, we have called our congressman's office, here and in Washington.

Yes, Rodney Davis' phone lines are all busy.

No, I do not believe they are busy because of all the "Attaboys!" flooding in from the good people of the Illinois 13th thanking Davis for working so hard to f**k them over on behalf of Il Douche. All day long these clowns will be burning through what little political capital they have trying to pass a monstrously evil piece-of-shite bill. A monstrously evil piece-of-shite bill, being rammed through solely because the Party of Jefferson Davis and The Bastard President are so frantic to eradicate any trace of the Black President that they will their sacrifice the lives of their own base so they can go Full Sethi:

Let the name of Obama be stricken from every book and tablet, stricken from all pylons and obelisks, stricken from every monument of Egypt. Let the name of Obama be unheard and unspoken, erased from the memory of men for all time.

A monstrously evil piece-of-shite bill that virtually no one but the House Hobgoblin Caucus actually delights in (from Brother Charlie Pierce):

The important thing to remember is that almost everyone in the House majority is motivated by an ideological commitment bordering on a religious fervor that the involvement of government in things like health insurance is fundamentally illegitimate. That isn't going to change no matter what happens in Congress on Friday, and the idea of the United States joining the rest of the industrialized world in offering most of its citizens a decent, uncomplicated healthcare system will continue to be in peril until that faith is abandoned. Nobody involved in this debate is good enough to make that happen.

A monstrously evil piece-of-shite bill that violates every single solemn promise The Bastard President made to his supporters.

"We’re going to have great health care at a fraction of the cost, and you watch. It’ll happen.” -- Il Douche, October 2016

Excerpted by permission from Driftglass