The WaPo tells us that Jar-Jarvanka, the millionaire grifters, made at least $82 million last year. How’s that, we wondered. Didn’t they give it all up? I seem to recall that Fratsputin’s felonious Pa even recently talked about how the couple was making YUGE sacrifices to their financial well being to patriotically serve their country in its most dire hour.

Anyway, The First Shady Ivanka grabbed $3.9M Ameros from her stake in the Trump International Hotel in Washington and more than $2M in her Golden Parachute from the Trump Organization.

The mind boggles. Imagine the signing bonus she will get when she returns, hopefully after serving her sentence.

Anyway, Ivanka rolled in $12M+ in 2017, most of it coming from her rag trade, which is made in Bangladesh, Indonesia, and China (oddly textiles will NOT be part of Daddy’s tariffs, what are the odds?! also/too: what are the odds of all those valuable trademarks China gave her?) sweatshops.

Meanwhile, Jared “leave him alone” Kushner—Comrade Trump’s Fratsputin— grabbed $70M Ameros from assorted Kushner companies that he—ahem—forgot to divest from.

You've gotta wonder what, exactly, do the Jar-Jarvanka do all day in D.C.? Fratsputin didn’t have top-level security clearance until recently and has not brought peace to the Middle East and whatnot, and all the First Shady seems to do in her role to make the world a better place for women is pose for photos pretending to do things and post them to Instagram, pissing off women everywhere.

We'll close by paraphrasing the great Fran Lebowitz:

No one earns $82 million dollars. They steal it.

Crossposted from Mock Paper Scissors