In the land of PLEASE MUELLER HURRY...

Erik "Russian dude? What Russian dude?" Prince has been cooperating with Robert "Bitch, PLEASE" Mueller in his investigation into Russia's interference with the U.S. 2016 election. Prince underwent a remarkable transformation over the course of this investigation from:

"I ain't never met no Russian dude" to...

"Oh, yeah, in the Seychelles I ran into a dude who happened to be Russian while we were having a beer next to each other. His name was Kirill Dmitriev - just the head of the Russian sovereign wealth fund, appointed by Putin - but I only met him BY CHANCE..." to...

"Well, SURE, George Nader met with me before the trip and told me about Dmitriev, and met with me after the trip where I happened to run into Dmitriev, but that doesn't mean... Oh, Christ, here, just take my phones and laptops. It's all there."

Okay, not quite. Prince categorically denied, though, having a relationship or meeting with ANY Russians, and said so in response to a question about it from Representative Eric Swalwell during a Congressional Hearing. So...he lied. He lied about the meeting with Dmitriev.

Furthermore, Mueller's squeezing of Prince's associates revealed that he had a business venture with a Russian/Israeli arms dealer named Dimitriy Streshinskiy. He had a relationship with Russian state-owned energy firm Rostec. He "forgot" to mention those to Swalwell, too.

Mueller's recent acquisition of Prince's laptop and phones indicate his team is probing further into those lies. Which is a relief, since, as Rep. Swalwell noted, the Republicans in Congress certainly have no interest them. Nor are they interested in any of the connections between Trump allies and Russia. Oh, did I forget to mention that Trump connection? Erik Prince is a close ally, and Betsy DeVos' brother.

Hurry, Mueller...we are trying awfully hard to keep this nation together while we're waiting...but hurry...