Jeanine Pirro...man, I have questions.

1. Why does she compare Bob Mueller to Harvey Keitel in "Pulp Fiction" like it is a bad thing? He was easily my favorite character in that movie.

2. Will she ever admit to the pathetic use of projection in her attempt to pay homage to her Trumpian overlord?

3. Will someone please unwrap the string that is wound so tightly around her sphincter that she can barely breathe? EXHALE, Pirro! Aaaaaalllllllll the way.

Here she delivers an "Opening Statement" that feels more like a going-in-all-directions word salad, attempting to paint Bob Mueller as a criminal, and regurgitate long-debunked Benghazi lies. She says Mueller is panicking. Does this look like a guy who is panicking?

As for the Benghazi lies, feel free to dig into this Snopes article debunking every single one of them - but this is the first time I've heard that he was called in to cover for Hillary Clinton's "incompetence..." Funny, we had two years of investigations, where was this information before? And why, exactly does she want James Comey to be subpoenaed? Shouldn't she be thrilled he practically single-handedly moved the needle on behalf of the FBI in Trump's direction?

Honestly, we all know which side is panicking; we all know which side is mobbed up; we all know which side looks like fools; we all know who should REALLY be embarrassed by the "fiasco all around" them. And "Judge" Jeanine Pirro knows it as well.

The best question came from my kid, though. I made my family listen to the first two minutes, because if I have to suffer, so do they. Here was my 14-year-old's question: "Why does she sound like she's talking to toddlers?"

Because she is, son. She is.

Transcript below, including links that debunk two other bullsh*t lies she and her Fox BFFs are trying to peddle to discredit Mueller and Ohr.

PIRRO: You know, when things go terribly wrong and a crime scene clean-up is needed, the mafia calls in “the cleaner” – the one who disposes of the body after the hit, or covers up the evidence after the crime.

Now, in the movie, "Pulp Fiction," the cleaner brought in to dispose of the corpse is Harvey Keitel. When covert missions go wrong, the government calls in its own cleaner. And when things go terribly wrong for the Democrats, they don't just call in a cleaner to get the job done, they call in someone who has been in the clean-up business for a long time.

They call in the serial cleaner, former FBI director and now special counsel Bob Mueller.

Now the latest details this week of the continuing cover-up of the Trump-hating deep state, as if we needed further proof that Donald Trump was being framed, was evidence that Bruce Ohr, the fourth highest ranking DOJ official, back-channeled forbidden information to the Department of Justice.

So after Christopher Steele is terminated by the FBI, or ignores his own rules of his department and he meets with Steele to peddle his fraudulent dossier to Justice. The intent, clearly, to tee up a special counsel investigation, and the amazing thing is that Bruce Ohr had absolutely nothing to do with Trump-Russia collusion investigation, yet after Donald Trump gets elected, he inserts himself into Trump-Russia to get Steele in on the Mueller team.

Bob, aren't you embarrassed by this whole fiasco around you? You actually have a 70-year-old man, Paul Manafort, put in solitary confinement 23 hours a day on a 2007 tax case having nothing to do with Donald Trump or Russia collusion, because you are trying to get him to rat on the president of the United States.

And you're panicking now, Bob, because Donald Trump's legal team doesn't want him to talk to your team of Trump haters.

I mean, come on! Everybody on your team hates the president. But what I don't get, Bob, is how you can sit there under the sanctimonious veil, as if you are holier than thou, and not be investigating the real crime that keeps jumping out at you and us every week.

Why don't you investigate James Comey who lied before Congress? Or Peter Strzok who teed up a fake Russia collusion investigation? Or Andrew McCabe and now Bruce Ohr and his wife Nellie? His wife had a job with Fusion GPS, the group that Hillary Clinton funneled her money to. to get to Christopher Steele, to create that fake dossier to make believe Russia had dirt on Donald Trump in the form of a sex tape.

Here we have Bruce Ohr, who's not just violating the law, he's not even disclosing his wife is working for the agency paying for the dossier. Bob, are you stupid? But your credentials as a government serial cleaner are really good. They're etched in the record.

You testified after four Americans are killed in Benghazi, to cover for Hillary Clinton's incompetence. Bob, why would you say the FBI couldn't get to Benghazi in time? It took two or three weeks? They needed someone who would say the FBI couldn't get to Benghazi since it was way too dangerous.

Bob honestly, you look and sound like a fool. CNN and just about every newspaper in the country, in the world got there. They made there it, but the FBI couldn't?

Hey, I get it. A good cleaner Bob wants a crime scene as trampled as possible.

But you know, Bob, we're all getting tired of this, and this comes down to your effort to get Donald Trump indicted and you are panicking. You got nothing. Talk of subpoenaing him is ridiculous.

And Bob you should know better. Just between the two of us, when you were subpoenaed in the Whitey Bulger disaster in Boston and your Justice Department argued that you were just too busy fighting terrorism to talk about 1980s Boston, you fought that subpoena and ironically you argued the attorney that was looking to subpoena you, just like you are looking to subpoena Donald Trump, didn't demonstrate why information from you couldn't be gotten by other means.

And now ain't that a hoot, Bob?

When you were head of the FBI it had just over 28,000 employees back then. And you claimed you were too busy to testify?

Well, how about this? Donald Trump is too busy fighting terrorism for over 320 million Americans and protecting us and he doesn't have time for you and your nonsense subpoena either! What's good is goose is good for the gander. And that's my open.