Stephen Colbert's opening monologue wasn't funny.

It was somber.

It was the worst act of violence against Jewish people in U.S. history. It’s tragic, it’s sickening and our thoughts are with the victims, their families and the larger Jewish community. But more than that, I want to say hate is not what America stands for. And tonight, all of us are with you.

Naturally, in times like these, our nation looks to its president for comfort and guidance. That’s our first mistake. Immediately after the shooting, Trump told reporters how the attack in Pittsburgh could’ve been prevented. Spoiler alert: It’s more guns.

Yes, it’s so simple. In fact, why didn’t the Jewish people have an armed guard for the last 5,000 years?