We might not have won the Senate, but we have this moment to enjoy for all eternity when Pravda, er, Fox News ate a maggot sandwich as they announced that the New Confederacy lost the House.

And only a stable genius like the Russian Usurper could see losing the House as being a tremendous victory:

We won’t know the full count till later, but inspite of ourselves, we Dims are on track to have somewhere around 230 seats in the House. And when he tweets next we have 5,000 Quatloos sayin That, Preznint Stupid will pass the buck to Zombie-eyed Granny-starver Paul Ryan. (Its an expression: we all know the cheap bastard never actually hands a buck to anyone.)

But back to that tremendous success: besides the Dims flipping the House, we elected Sharice Davids and Deb Haaland to be the first and second Native American women to Congress and Jared Polis to be the first openly gay governor in Colorado. Florida approved a state constitutional amendment to restore voting rights to 1.4 million people convicted of felonies. The states of Kansas, Illinois, and Michigan flipped to to Democrats for governors. Oh, and the biggest part of that tremendous success: House Oversight Chairman Elijah Cummings. House Judiciary Chairman Jerrold Nadler. House Rules Chairman Jim McGovern. House Ways and Means Chairman Richard Neal. House Banking Committee Chairman Maxine Waters. The Democrats now have subpoena power, and will use it to great effect!

Besides all that tremendous success, the GOP did keep the Senate, with the defeat of most of the Blue Dog Dims, so amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell’s grasp on power and the ability to stack the courts continues apace. Ayatollah Ted beat dreamy skateboarder Beto O’Rourke, and the racists in Florida elected a racist Gubnor and the ghoulish batboy to the Senate.

crossposted from Mock Paper Scissors