As my family and I watched A Christmas Story and Elf, I wondered what I could give to my Crooks and Liars family. So, I keep hearing that people hate the Christmas carol, "Little Drummer Boy." I decided to do something about that. As my gift to you, I re-wrote the lyrics. Merry Muellermas, from my heart to yours.

LITTLE MUELLER BOY
(sung to the tune of "Little Drummer Boy," by any of Trump's idiot cronies, take your pick)

"Come," he told me, "You guys are so dumb."
"Enter a guilty plea. You guys are so dumb."
"That Trump Tower meeting? You guys are so dumb!"
"You'd better start to sing — You guys are so dumb! Guys are so dumb...guys are so dumb."
So, I went with him. "You guys are so dumb."
Bye-bye, freedom.

"Dirt on Hillary? You guys are so dumb."
"Hush money to Stormy? You guys are so dumb."
"And end to Magnitsky? You guys are so dumb."
"Trump is the enemy! You guys are so dumb! Guys are so dumb...guys are so dumb."
Orange suit for me? And not for that bum?
Him and his sons...

"You promised loyalty? You guys are so dumb."
"He thinks he's royalty. You guys are so dumb."
"He wants autocracy! You guys are so dumb."
"And White Supremacy - You guys are so dumb! Guys are so dumb...guys are so dumb."
Mueller shook his head. "You guys are so dumb."
Ad nauseam.

Feel free to add your own verses in the comments...and Happy Holidays!