As Lyin' Paul Ryan has been doing a farewell/victory tour of the country, letting the billionaires and corporations sing paeans to him and collecting their rewards for two decades of being a good and faithful servant to them, he has taken some time to feign regret for actions not taken.

Leading off his list of laments is that he never got around to killing off democracy. He bemoans that California is still practicing democracy and is actually counting each vote instead of suppressing the voters with Jim Crow laws and other acts of election fraud:

Weeks after House Republicans lost their majority, Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) on Thursday cast serious doubts about the “bizarre” election system in California, where it appears that seven GOP-held seats will flip to Democratic control.

The California election system “just defies logic to me,” Ryan said during a Washington Post event.

“We were only down 26 seats the night of the election and three weeks later, we lost basically every California race. This election system they have — I can’t begin to understand what ‘ballot harvesting’ is.”

Ryan also has a sadz because he never got around to legalizing ripping brown-skinned babies from the arms of their mother or dealing the final death blow to granny, or as he quaintly puts it, "immigration and debt." Keep in mind that he had a Republican-controlled House, a Republican-controlled Senate and a Republican president. That would mean that he either chose not to do those things or he wasn't the great unifier he thinks he is.

The most gobsmacking and breathtaking of Ryan's regrets goes back to the midterm election and California and the involvement of billionaires in the races:

“There were a lot of seats in California we should have won and we got massively outspent,” Ryan said. “If you’ve got a couple of billionaires dropping $100 million on your head, that leaves a mark.”

It's curious that he didn't not find billionaires like the Kochs giving him a boatload of money for his tax scam or the fact that he spent that boatload of money to buy his old district for his clone and protege, Lyin' Bryan Steil as being problematic. I guess it's the old rule of IOOKIARDI.

Sadly, Ryan never decried sitting on his thumbs to pass reasonable gun control laws and stopping the frequent mass shooting happening in schools around the country. I'm sure those big checks from the NRA helped ease the sting for him.

Nor did he bemoan not standing up to Trump with any resemblance of a man with a spine. That's most likely because he approved the policy if not the way it was presented.

And Ryan never did apologize for not meeting with his constituents for more than three years. But to be fair, drinking $350 bottles of wine with lobbyists does take up a lot of time.