Two beings without uteri, possessing all the white male privilege bestowed upon them by the Constitution and 400 years of systemic white supremacy, sat on national TV and discussed whether a person who was raped or a child who was molested by a relative should be forced to carry the resultant pregnancy to term. It's no shocker that this tired conversation took place on Fox, though, it honestly could just as easily have taken place on CNN or MSNBC.

This time, one of the presumably betesticled (Chris Wallace) at least attempted to force the other (Texas AG Ken Paxton) to explain his hypocrisy on the matter, but the conversation was sterile and polite, given neither of them will ever have to face a decision more difficult than "Gee, do I uphold my blinding societal advantages today, or stick a hot fireplace poker into my eye?" Easy decision for them. They can approach the topic as if they're deciding between ordering Lagavulin or Laphroaig.

Talking about Texas' draconian law deputizing absolutely anyone to sue absolutely anyone else connected with assisting a woman obtain an abortion, Wallace refreshed Paxton's memory, saying, "You said that this law, the Texas law is not at odds with Roe v. Wade. 'Merely creating the potential for liability for some abortions is not a ban.' Mr. Attorney General, are you saying that if someone wants to assist with an abortion and just pay the $10,000 fine, that's okay?"

Paxton answered, Slow down, there, tiger, I don't write the laws, I just defend 'em. UNBORN! UNBORN! UNBORN!

Wallace tried again: "Well, let me ask you a direct question. What you think of the new abortion law in Texas?"

Paxton was slightly more direct this time, but not extremely, because GQP and Trump Base dontchyaknow!

"Well look, I applaud the legislature for doing anything they can to protect human life. They try to balance the current Supreme Court provisions and cases with what they want to do in the state," said the AG.

God bless his little heart, Wallace tried to get a bit further with Kenny.

"But you do applaud the law. Let me ask you about one aspect of the law. The law makes no exception for cases of rape and incest. You know, if a pregnancy results from a crime, like rape or incest, you have no problem with forcing the woman to carry to that fetus to term?" asked Wallace.

Paxton spoke certainly a bunch of words that sounded a lot like his first answer, but added the message, "Would I have done it differently? Who knows?!? Next question!"

Good ole Chris. What's another try gonna cost him? Lil' trooper went for it.

"Well, again, I'm asking you as a public official, you must have an opinion," Wallace pressed. "Do you think there should be an exception for rape and incest as there are in most abortion laws in the country? Or do you favor what Texas did, which was to say there's no exception for rape or incest?"

Paxton's non-answer: "Here's what I'd say. I think it's very important to protect life. I think this bill is defensible and I think we are going to do really good job defending it. We already have. It has gone to the Supreme Court twice, and the first time we were successful. I have no idea what's going to happen on the second round," said Kenny.

Really? I have an idea what's going to happen.

"But again, we're are not even talking about the substance right now. We're talking about the procedure, which is whether they even have standing to sue us, which we do not believe they do," concluded Paxton.

Of course we're not talking about the substance right now! Why would we talk about the substance? The substance involves the trauma of rape. Of incest. Of living in a world that doesn't give people power over their own reproductive life. Being restricted by people who will never, ever be in the position through which they're forcing you to live.

The substance involves someone who lives miles away and universes of circumstance removed from you telling you you must risk your life to carry another human being inside you whether you like it or not, when in reality, that same person would never force you to donate a kidney or give blood to save an already-alive person if you didn't want to. The substance involves what happens to the person giving birth and the baby (it's a baby AFTER it's born) for the rest of their lives, during which, of course, none of these forced-birthers want to lend a hand.

So, golf clap for Chris Wallace, I guess, and a hot poker in the eyeballs for Ken Paxton, but as for me? At the moment this is published, I will be in front of Planned Parenthood in freezing temperatures where there is going to be a "Men's Rights" rally/march, and the expected attendance is 3,000. That's according to them. Who knows? Maybe only 12 will show up. Either way, there goes my day off. That's right kids, I'll be escorting patients through a gauntlet of bussed-in incels who think white men's rights are in danger just because they can't force people to f*ck them and carry a pregnancy to term should one of their neckbeard sperm stumble its way into an egg charitable enough to accept it.

So what should I bring with me to drink on the sidewalk to keep me warm? Lagavulin or Laphroaig?