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I'd Like To Report A Murder: Biden Took A Sledgehammer To Trump At Rally

You know Trump was hate-watching Biden's rally.

President Joe Biden stood before enthusiastic supporters in Detroit on Friday night and took a sledgehammer to Donald Trump. For sure, the felon must have been hate-watching the President, who, no matter which side of the aisle you're on, was on fire, delivering rapid-fire burns to his thin-skinned predecessor. Biden mocked Trump's fear of sharks and his insane rants about electrocutions. "Poor Donald," Biden said, "he can't even watch TV this week because it's shark week."

The President said, "I love telling Trump this, even though I don't own any stock. The stock market is at a historic high."

Biden brought up his gaffe from the previous night when he mixed up names, saying that Trump praises Putin. He added, "But people would rather talk about how I mix up names. I guess they don't remember that Trump called Nikki Haley Nancy Pelosi."

It was burn after burn after burn, and he didn't stop. Biden moved on to the case Trump lost to E. Jean Carroll, in which he owes his victim an obscene amount of money for sexual abuse.

"We're going to say who he is, what he intends to do," Biden said. "Folks, Donald Trump is a convicted criminal."

"He was convicted by a jury of his peers of 34 felonies for paying hush money to a porn star and hiding it from voters in 2016," the President continued. "Donald Trump was found liable for sexual assault by a judge who told us not to be fooled by Trump brushing it off."

"Here's what the judge wrote, quote," Biden said. The judge in that case wrote that Mr. Trump attempted to minimize sexual abuse, finding it frivolous. Mr. Trump raped her."

Fact-check: True.

Biden explained that those were the judge's words, adding that the ex-president "Raped her, as many people understand the word rape."

Then Biden hit Trump for being a "business fraud."

"Folks, Donald Trump is a business fraud," he said. "He lost his license to do business in New York State, been fined over $400 million to read false information to banks, and he's still facing a charge for mishandling classified information, which is a criminal offense."

He wasn't done.

"He's still facing charges for his role in January 6th trying to overthrow the outcome of the 2020 election," Biden continued. "He's still facing charges in Georgia for election interference. Remember his phone call? I just need 11,780 votes. Name me another president who's done any of that."

"Look, if you want to know how bad a businessman Trump really is, just think about this," Biden said. "He inherited millions of dollars only to squander it. He's filed for bankruptcy six times. He even went bankrupt running a casino. I didn't think that was possible. Doesn't the House always win at a casino?"

"Most importantly, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart: Trump is a threat to this nation,' he said. "He led a violent mob on January 6th to overturn the 2020 election. To hold on to power, the election I won by 7 million votes."

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