It's 2024 and the Associated Press has fact-checked whether JD Vance had sexual relations with his sofa while a freshman in college. Not on, with.

Source: Associated Press

CLAIM: Republican vice presidential nominee JD Vance wrote in his 2016 memoir about having sex with a couch.

AP’S ASSESSMENT: False. Vance does not write about performing such an act in his bestselling book. A searchable PDF of the memoir includes 10 mentions of the word “couch” or “couches,” none of which are related to accounts of salacious escapades. Some social media users have claimed the story appears on pages 179 to 181, where Vance actually writes about his first days as a freshman at Ohio State University.

THE FACTS: As the Ohio senator sets out on the campaign trail as the GOP’s vice presidential nominee, social media users are making false claims about the contents of “Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis.”

“Somebody please explain to me how JD Vance, who wrote about humping a couch and has only been a Senator for barely TWO f------ years, thinks he has the right to criticize Kamala Harris’ qualifications,” reads one X post that had received approximately 36,000 likes and 15,600 shares as of Wednesday.

Another X post states: “In his dreadful novel, ‘Hillbilly Elegy,’ JD Vance described having sex with a rubber glove secured between cushions on his couch. Republicans chose him to be one heartbeat away from becoming POTUS. Voters in NC, the U.S. furniture capital, should be particularly horrified.”

Other users specifically cited pages 179 to 181 as the portion of the book in which this story allegedly appears.

But at no point in his memoir does Vance write about performing sex acts on a couch.

They then go into spurious "proof" by actually looking through his book and could not find any alleged carnal couch relations. I remain unconvinced, as does the rest of the internet who are still having a field day with this story.