Texas Sen. Ted Cruz has somehow hung onto his job despite being very bad at it. But he is good at one thing: manufacturing crises. When Donald Trump insulted Cruz's wife's appearance, the Texas Republican pounced at campaigning for the orange aberration as he phone-banked for his one-time opponent.

While Republicans are champing at the bit to take an ax to Medicare and Social Security (don't tell me they aren't. I have the receipts.), Cruz, a Totally Serious Politician, launched a rant about Kamala Harris wanting to take away his cheeseburgers and whatnot.

"Let me say at the outset, Kamala can't have my guns, she can't have my gasoline engine, and she sure as hell can't have my steaks and cheeseburgers," Cruz said on Fox News. "She is a radical California leftist, and to be honest, she perfectly captures where today's Democrat party is."

Interestingly, Trump assigned the Texas Republican with a nickname: Lyin' Ted Cruz. He might have had a point! Of course, the felon has run out of juvenile attacks, so he has reassigned that moniker to 'Lyin' Kamala Harris.'

Cruz earned his law degree from Harvard Law School, so he knows that presidents can't simply wave a magic wand to take things away from Americans. Harris has led the fight for women's freedom to make their own decisions about their own bodies, but you'll notice that Republicans have stopped talking about abortion. While Cruz is concerned about cheeseburgers, Harris is fighting for the freedom to live safe from gun violence, the freedom to vote, and the freedom to drink clean water and breathe clean air.

That's so radical!