Donald Trump hate-watched all four nights of the Democratic National Convention, and just before the final night began, the felon posted that he "will be doing a LIVE PLAY BY PLAY on TRUTH Social." Trump vowed to be "fair but critical of Comrade Kamala Harris."

As Harris rallied Democrats around themes of patriotism and the love of family, Trump was shit-posting on his flailing social site.

Some of what the former President posted was inadvertently comical, with the rest leaving us once again wondering what the fuck is wrong with him. Trump posted rapidly, as usual -- so I won't add all of Captain Capslock's desperate rants. There is only so much room.

Trump said Kamala said "thank you" too much as she took the stage to thunderous applause to accept her party's nomination.

“Too many ‘Thank yous,’ too rapidly said, what’s going on with her?” he asked as Kamala began her remarks. Gratefulness is not a quality with which Trump is familiar.

For some reason, Trump asked where Hunter Biden was.

"WHERE'S HUNTER?" he wrote.

However, noticeably absent during Trump's rallies is his wifebot, Melania. Meanwhile, his son, Don Jr., was probably jacked up on coke somewhere. Trump couldn't seem to grasp what Kamala's family and background are all about. However, for the rest of us, we could easily relate to her family's struggles as she grew up.

Trump then wrote that Gov. Tim Walz, a former high school football coach, “was an ASSISTANT Coach, not a COACH.”

That does it, guys. We might as well pack up and go home. Meanwhile, Fred Trump expressed his "love" for his son by bailing him out of his many business failures.

Kamala praised her late mother for teaching her and her sister, Maya, to “never do anything half-assed."

Trump responded, “Kamala’s biography won’t lower prices at the Grocery Store, or at the Pump!”

"A lot of talk about childhood, we’ve got to get to the Border, Inflation, and Crime!" he added.

Fact check: Crime is down across the country. Crime was up during Mr. Big Brain's time in office.

Harris spoke of "the chaos and calamity" when Trump was in office, as well as the "gravity of what has happened since he lost the last election" about the deadly attempted coup incited by the felon.

"The Chaos and Calamity is allowing our Country to be infiltrated by Millions of Criminals!” Trump wrote.

Harris said that Trump “sent an armed mob to the United States Capitol, where they assaulted law enforcement office.”

“PEACEFULLY AND PATRIOTICALLY!” Trump wrote. The former President has used that line liberally to defend himself. Donald did say that after promising that the event, as the shift of power was taking place at the Capitol, would be "wild," and during his remarks, the word "fight" was used repeatedly.

"When politicians in his own party begged him to call off the mob and send help, he did the opposite," Harris said. "He fanned the flames.”

“IS SHE TALKING ABOUT ME?” Trump wrote in response.

And, as if the former President didn't know the answer, he wrote, "Why didn’t she do something about the things of which she complains?"

Trump must think that vice presidents are only there to be hanged. They do not hold the power of the presidency. If he doesn't know this, he should since he was the Commander in Chief for four years.

Still, he persisted, writing, "She said, “Chart a new way forward,” but she’s had three and a half years, and has done nothing but HARM!"

Joe Biden is the President, not Kamala Harris. Trump misses Biden so much. It's an unrequited love, though. Very sad!

Trump repeated his lie, saying, "Everybody, Democrats, Republicans, Liberals, and Conservatives, wanted Roe v. Wade TERMINATED."

Narrator: No, we did not, you ghoul. Bodily autonomy is a BFD to women and friends of women.

This is a lie. Harris has never met his fuckboi, Putin.

Russia/Ukraine would have never started if I were President. She was sent to try to stop it, Putin attacked three days later!

Trump also blamed Harris for the Oct. 7th attack by Hamas, adding, "SHE HATES ISRAEL!"

In summary, Trump blamed the world's woes on Kamala Harris, claiming it wouldn't happen on his watch. We were attacked on American soil by a massive crowd of his supporters on Jan. 6. Trump did nothing for over three hours except to sit back and watch it unfold on TV. The felon has folded like a cheap suit repeatedly for the world's dictators. Still, he said that "tyrants are laughing at" Kamala. Sure thing, buddy.

Harris called Trump weak, so his response was akin to, 'I know you are, but what am I?!'

She said too many thank yous! He's really got her there.