Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen and our buddy Bill-O for their spin on how the anointed one, St. Ronnie would have handled things there were he alive today.

COLBERT: That's why we know, we conservatives know that the Gipper would never stand for the use of chemical weapons... today. Of course in the 1980's his administration ignored chemical attacks by Saddam Hussein that killed thousands of Iranian troops and looked the other way when Saddam gassed his own Kurdish citizens.

But remember, that's the old Reagan. We're talking about hypothetical, contemporary, super Reagan, the one... the man who never raised taxes, or tripled the deficit and who knocked down the Berlin Wall using his nut sack as a wrecking ball!