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While telling every one else not to panic in reaction to drops in the stock market after the S&P downgrade, Stephen Colbert packed his "hobo satchel" full of gold, weapons and a chicken as he prepared to make his escape from the United States.

After noting that the only other two countries with a rating of AA+ are Belgium and New Zealand, Colbert concluded:

The credit downgrade reduces Americans to waffle-eating Kiwis who put mayonnaise on their French fries and have a serious Hobbit infestation.