I hardly know where to start.

Barry Smitherman was a Rick Perry discovery. Perry appointed him to the Public Utility Commission and from there to the Texas Railroad Commission which regulates not railroads, but oil and gas. We suspect that Perry thought the Railroad Commission Chairman drove the trains and blew the whistles. And, to be honest, Smitherman is perfectly qualified for that job. Oil and gas, not so much.

Now Barry is running for Texas Attorney General. If you go to his website, you are greeted with an angry black man who wants to take away your freedom.He says he’s sued Obama seven times. What he doesn’t say is how many time he’s lost. That would be seven.

But that’s just the basement. Barry has built himself a whole tower of ignorance.

Barry believes, and strongly announces, that aborted fetuses would have voted Republican. Since polling data was unavailable at press time, Barry offers this evidence.

“What we’ve seen in our state is that Republicans are more pro-life than Democrats. Let’s hypothetically ask an unborn child: ‘Here’s the Republican position on life, here’s the Democrat. If you’re born, which way would you vote?’” Smitherman told The Associated Press in a recent interview.“I think they vote Republican,” he added. “To me it was pretty simple.”

Then he defended a group called “Crusaders for Yahweh” when complaining that the Southern Poverty Law Center’s materials should not be used in Texas classrooms when discussing To Kill a Mockingbird. Of course, Crusaders for Yahweh is a well documented racist group. Barry says he didn’t know that, which is not surprising considering the list of things Barry doesn’t know.

Barry doesn’t believe in climate change. And he has proof, dammit.

“Climate change is, in my estimation, not an issue associated with co2 and greenhouse gasses,” he said, referring to carbon dioxide emissions.

Meanwhile, Smitherman’s ready with a comeback for critics who blame climate change for Superstorm Sandy and other recent weather catastrophes.

“You’re talking to a guy from the Texas Gulf Coast where we get hurricanes a lot,” Smitherman said. “But, if you’ve noticed, we’ve not had a bad storm in the last couple of years.”

So there’s that. No hurricanes in Barry’s backyard in Austin, no problem.

He also retweeted a list of U.S. Senate Republicans who voted for an ultimately unsuccessful federal gun control bill next to the word “Treason” and a noose.

He now says he didn’t see the noose. No kidding, he said that. Didn’t see it. Slipped his eyesight. Click the little one to see the big one and make a note somewhere of the first thing you see.

And he gleefully announced that if the United States collapses, Texas can survive on its own. Just ask the fetuses.