First of all, I pledge not to choke the living crap out of the next Republican who tries to feed me this line of horse manure. Because that would be "wrong." (Actually, it would be good on so many other levels -- but legally? Wrong.)

I happen to think Carl Jung was a genius, because if you want to know what a man's really up to, listen to the accusations he makes against other people. "Rising joblessness, crushing debt, and a polarizing political environment are fraying the bonds among our people and blurring our sense of national purpose. Like free peoples of the past, our citizens refuse to accommodate a government that believes it can replace the will of the people with its own."

Are you kidding me? You have the audacity to repeat this line of happy horse hockey (or at least let some true-believer Hill rat write it for you)?

It's really difficult to communicate with certain types of severely mentally ill people -- and make no mistake, you guys are severely mentally ill. (So are the Democrats, but I beat them up all the time and right now, it's your turn.)

You don't give a damn about the "common good." Show me the last thing the Republican party has done for it. You pledge to "honor the Constitution"? All you care about the Constitution is how easily you can twist it to support your political interests. Tell you what, let's get Roberts and Scalia on live TV and let them explain the Citizens United decision to the American voters, taking live call-in questions.

Oh and yes, all y'all just loves you some Tenth Amendment -- mostly because it's so easy to distort. Yes, we know what "state's rights" is code for. So do your hard-core supporters, who will vote for anyone who tells them they'll stop scary black and brown people from exercising what they claim are "rights."

And liberty? You have the nerve to talk about liberty? You not only want to forbid access to abortion for rape and incest victims, you're backing candidates who want to make birth control illegal.

Screw you, and the elephant you rode in on. Even wifebeaters eventually learn an important truth: You have to sleep sometime. Sooner or later, the new "Third World" workers of the U.S. will slam a cast iron frying pan upside your sleeping heads.

Because once you rig the game, and buy off the refs, well, people won't care anymore about sportsmanship.