Fun With The Texas GOP Convention

Fun With The Texas GOP Convention

The good news is that they didn’t shoot each other. No, wait, maybe that’s the bad news. I get confused.

Anyway, they just made faces and called each other “cootie brains” and “poo-poo head.” That’s certainly a start to good government.There was some ammo-action in the Rules Committee. One delegate said that others disagreed with his vote “on how candidates are approved for placement on ballots and how candidates are censured by the party.” The purpose of the rule is to keep people from running as Republicans if the lunatic wing of the GOP didn’t approve of them. He voted against it and was called over for extra-credit debate camp by two other delegates. When he refused to change his vote …

“I’m in the corner of the convention hall when three people confronted me and asked why I voted the way I voted,” Haddock said in an interview Friday. “I told them I was responsible to vote for the principles of the Republican Party.”

The woman in the group said Haddock should have voted with his constituents while a man with a handgun moved closer to him, Haddock said.

“I interpreted this as an effort to intimidate me and influence my vote,” Haddock said. “I told them all to back up. You are not going to threaten me. I thought it clearly was an over-the-top effort to affect my vote.”

The man with the gun countered, “it was not a weapon or a firearm. It was a black powder pistol and perfectly legal.”

Well, I have to admit that it does look like a gun to me. And it shoots like a gun. And it can kill you like a gun.

An observer dismissed it as delegates being “a little too boisterous.” Personally, I wouldn’t taunt them if I were you.

Then they decided to hate Mexicans. Yeah, the platform had a guest worker plank in it but Dan Patrick, the whitest man in Texas,decided that had to go.


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Patrick refers constantly to the “illegal invasion” of people across the border. You know, like they are claiming Texas as their own.

Scott Braddock reported that Texas Republicans said that “any discussion of legal status for the undocumented was equated to negotiating with terrorists.”

Patrick dismissed his opponent, the formidable Leticia Van De Putte as “a nice lady, but wrong on the issues.”

Dan has the distinction of being not a nice gentleman AND being wrong on the issues.Yeah, a nice lady. Really. Somebody alert Dan Patrick that Leticia Van De Putte is coming after him with intent to barbeque. And you might let him know that patronizing her does not work.

The last time she was patronized she caused the Texas Capitol to be shut down until after midnight.

And that’s how she does things “nicely.”

Wait until Patrick comes after her Momma, her children, and her people.

There was some other fun stuff at their convention.They are offering to “fix” gay people with therapy. Hell it worked for Michele Bachmann’s husband. He’s not the least bit gay now.

The best I understand it, this is what’s in their platform: You can be gay, you just can’t act gay. Or be a gay actor, probably. Oh hell, I don’t know. I don’t have a clue why everybody has to change to fit their image. What are they, God?

The clear winner of the convention door-prize is Ted Cruz. The biggest loser is Rick Perry. I mean, at the convention. Perry was a loser at the convention, not in life. Well, wait. Maybe that, too.

Ted Cruz wins the Texas Republican Party presidential straw poll with 43 percent of the vote. Texas Gov. Rick Perry finished fourth, behind Cruz, Dr. Ben Carson and Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky.

How quickly they fall.

I’m sure I’m going to think of more crazy crap they did in the coming week, including Greg Abbott’s statement of “we must invest more in public schools — but not with new taxes.” Then with what? Dan Patrick’s leftover fence posts?

A fun time was had by all.

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