Ron Paul has announced he is ending his campaign ...kinda. He's going to stop spending money on primaries, which is a little like Kim Kardashian announcing she's going to stop spending all that time thinking about organic chemistry. It's a switch, but only kinda sorta.

And we KNOW, Ron Paul people. It's all because Ron Paul is not just a candidate, he's an idea. Or a movement. Or whatever, he's certainly never going to be President of the United States. But he will persist.

The animating force behind Ron Paul's endurance has never been campaign spending, it is indeed an idea. A really shitty idea, promoted by Right Wingers as a free market utopia without the horrible burdens of stable currency or child labor laws.

The originator of this idea is occasionally enthusiastically embraced by conservatives as providing a consistent philosophical basis for shitty policy. Her name is Ayn Rand, and people like Paul Ryan just love, love, love her ... until they remember that she hates their religion and thinks it's silly. Then the walk back begins.

But having introduced Rand in the upper hierarchy of the Republican Party, she may not be so easy to dismiss. The ghost—or zombie, if you will—of Ayn Rand lingers in the Republican party, a reminder that it is a party with deep divisions—and policy based on ideas that don't just contradict each other, but are downright willing to fight it out in a back alley at night.

The problem, of course, is not that Friedman desires to talk about China, Jobs, or the internet, these are important topics! Unfortunately, Friedman himself is the Dane Cook of prophecy—overrated, overearnest, and having been exposed as fraudulent, in rapid decline. Dammit, we can do better.

Oh, gosh. If you're looking for articles backing up the idea that Thomas Friedman sucks massive eggs, the internet is a grand smorgasbord indeed. But this, this and this are fine places to start.

No disrespect intended to bloggers by comparing them to Friedman, in many ways Friedman is the anti-blogger—well-financed, entrenched in Washington, and being printed on actual paper. Unfortunately, his legacy may be a generation of writers who think his "Lonely Planet That Is Hot And Crowded" travel-guide approach to punditry might actually be a good idea. Writers: just because you use some form of transportation that is not a car does not mean you have sufficient content for a column, or special insight into the internet age.

So shine on, you crazy mustache. Just don't do it where I have to see it, it makes me want to throw up.

What an exciting time to be on campus—Mitt Romney is reaching out to college students! He's got all sorts of ideas about how to help students out with loans, and the kind of support that only comes from a GOP candidate.

But, even as Mitt thrills college students with his message it's vitally important to keep a level head and not completely freak out. Unless you're doing so ironically, in which case the Mitt Romney For President College Outreach Program 2012 will officially understand.

So if you find yourself seated at a Romney event, know that you're front and center! The whole world is watching, and like these folks you want to respond appropriately. Otherwise Josh Marshall will totally make fun of you, and you seriously do not want that—dude is trenchant as hell.

As has been widely reported on this site, Romney is having a particularly difficult tax season. That is no reason to make his life any less miserable (I'm sorry about the double negative--I'm a passionate man pushed to the brink). Perhaps this humble ad parody will help explain why.*

That really is the PO Box behind which Romney parks many millions of dollars tax-free, drop him a line with your questions. Or, just call (212) 326-9420. Ask for the "Cayman Getaway Package" and tell them Mitt's guy sent you.

*On a side note: seems like every week I see a story indicating that "Taxmasters" is in such severe legal trouble that there is no possible way they will continue to run those terrible, awkward, strange ads. And yet, seems like every day I see one of their g-d ads. They are either geniuses or I am an idiot, but I have no idea what their business model is. Marketing-wise they clearly save on production costs what they spend on distribution, yet their business plan seems somewhere in the "Enron Of Personal Tax Debt Rip-Off Scheme" territory. Best of luck to everyone involved, one suspects they'll need it.

Democrats: Vote Santorum. For now. Really enjoy it.

Many of you are already aware of the push by Markos and others to promote Democrats voting in open primaries. To many, this has been the cue to break out the fainting couch. Sigh.

To any who oppose such tactics on moral grounds, one might ask if they're part of the same group of people who oft bemoan the passive, compromise-y tactics of the current administration. Be the change you've been waiting for, and so forth.

To those who say Santorum is an actual threat in national polls because Rasmussen has him up by three amongst left-handed seniors or whatever: whatever. Careful observers will note that in a field of candidates this jaw-droppingly lame, everybody gets a taste of sweet sweet candy--if only for a moment.

So, feel free to disagree--but dirty your hands, say I. Tomorrow, America's mitten can take off the gloves.

Y'know, we were all pretty hard on Issa and the House GOP for having one-sided, inherently misogynistic hearings on birth control. We, as a progressive community, kvetched that having a panel of men testify on a women's health issue was a mistake born of political gamesmanship and intolerance.

Boy, is the egg on our face. Recently found footage, seen here, suggests that there WAS an attempt at balance in these hearings--a chance for turnabout, fair play, and justice.

So, our apologies to Issa, Walsh, and all the other gentlemen of the House GOP. You guys clearly know how to treat women. Maybe that will help with this little problem.

Thanks fellahs!

Mitt Romney thought we should let Detroit go bankrupt. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

If Mitt had his way, Detroit wouldn't be repped by badasses like Eminem and Clint Eastwood. It'd just be some dude, chillin on the couch, dreaming what might have been.

But gosh, Mitt sure did feel strongly about that whole "Let Detroit Go Bankrupt" thing. Huh. Now that GM is the number one auto company in the world again and TARP funds have been repaid, do you think we'll hear anything about that call between now and November?

Michigan's electoral votes will be bitterly contested twixt now and then. It's important to remember the fate that would have fallen Detroit--and Dearborn, and Livonia, and Hamtramck, and all the other areas that rely on that industry--had Mitt been at the helm.

On a personal note, yes those are zits on my face, yes I am too old to be getting them. It's a hectic time dude, get off my back.

What kind of woman supports Rick Santorum?

I've always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created— in the sense of rape—but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you.

We don't know, so we had to imagine. Rick is still seen by some as a promising candidate, supportable by right wing fundamentalist leaders. This enthusiasm is only dampened by the fact that nobody outside of right wing fundamentalist leaders particularly gives a flying fuck about Rick Santorum.

But as his campaign flounders awkwardly along like—Oh, I dunno—a man-on-dog sexual pairing trying to jog mid-tryst, it's a good time to be reminded: There are piggish elements within our body politic who will always, always, always abuse women's rights for political gain. And that Rick Santorum's "google problem" was never just Dan Savage's brilliant gag, it has always been the things that he actually says and does.

Frothy lube may stain your futon, but Santorum stains the American political landscape—until such time as his well-established inability to win actual votes brings the Santorum slide to a messy end.

Offered with real love for our religious brethren--and dedicated to the memory of the late, great, Christopher Hitchens.

Ol' Hitch, of course, would have just hated this video. He was a brilliant man not given to seasonal cheer:

"I absolutely abominate absolutely everything about this season of the year...it's not just that attendance and observance are compulsory and conscripted (though that would be bloody bad enough). It's that ENTHUSIASM is COMPULSORY TOO. You can't just conform and get by. You are always being urged to join in. Of what does this remind me? Of Dear Leader's Birthday in some godawful one-party banana republic or people's democracy, that's what." (The Nation, 1/13/97)

Sounds like fun! Uncompromising genius doesn't take holidays.

But though the world of infidels has lost an intellectual giant, it has a chance to grow and evolve. The shrill atheism voiced by the likes of Hitchens and Dawkins is fine for another generation, but there are plenty of atheists nowadays confident enough in their non-belief that they don't feel like they have to be f--king dicks about it.

So, nonbelievers, free to bow your head in insincere reverence as often as necessary--or hell, possible--this holiday season. Part of being a humanist is loving the weird, weird s--t that humans do. Fellow atheist, you probably do all sorts of weird ritualistic s--t that seems strange to outsiders and doesn't do anything but make you feel better about stuff--you just call it "line dancing," or "must-see TV," or "moderate opiate use."

As for Hitchens, all this glad-handing would have just pissed him off.

And that's cool, he has no idea this is happening. Because when you die, you're just dead.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Look. Let's talk. I'm worried about your marriage.

It's a mess. As an institution, it's a muddled mess, and you're screwing it up just terribly.

Luckily, there's hope! There's someone out there who's willing to save this august tradition from weirdos and pervs who would make it all strange and unholy. To the rescue!

Remember: don't trust your marriage with just any old pol. A lot of these dudes don't have much experience-seriously, I hear some of them have only done this stuff once.