Who will hear their anguished cries? The Affordable Care Act has already unleashed a plague on our country: butthurt conservatives, whose butthurt medical needs are being completely ignored.

The sound, vigorous spanking by--of all people--Justice Roberts, 30 million Americans getting coverage, and because PREEXISTING CONDITIONS ARE IN THE CONSTITUTION OR SOMETHING has resulted in a wave of redness, welts, and soreness.

Judging from symptoms displayed on Facebook, there seems to be no balm, lotion or tincture to soothe their butthurtedness. They can't really move--every other advanced industrial nation has universal access to decent medical care. So that sucks.

But remember, no whining! After getting all that health care LITERALLY SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT, that will only cause chafing and irritation.


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