Absurdity Today is political satire in the form of a news parody created for Crooks and Liars and hosted by Julianna Forlano. We don't want to give away the content of this video beyond that, but if you detest the actions and attitudes of The Westboro Baptist Church and its members you will love this.

The sheer volume of recent wing nut quotes has forced most thinking Americans to adjust their Sanity-Preserve-O-Meter's from "Keep Calm" to "Stun". And they probably didn't even see what we saw. Absurdity Today, Julianna Forlano's satiric news parody, serves up what you missed, with a side of sense:

ABSURDITY TODAY, is back with the first episode of 2013. In this edition we take aim at the money being made on YOUR misfortune. Also, back by popular request, the whip!

Absurdity Today is a progressive political news parody hosted by satirist, writer, performer, professor, and pundit; Julianna Forlano. And yes, you can be more than one thing.

FIGHT THE SPIN WITH A BIDEN STYLE LAUGH!

In this week's Absurdity Today, Comedian Julianna Forlano brings on a psychotherapist to deconstruct the Romney/Ryan Mental state. Also, back by popular request, another highbrow, political, boob joke.

Absurdity Today is a progressive political news parody hosted by Julianna Forlano.

General Motors and Walgreens have left the infectious conservative idea pusher ALEC. Is this a cause for rejoicing? This week's Absurdity Today covers ALEC, Mitt and his travels, and some sensitive topics too.
Absurdity Today is an independent political news parody hosted by satirist and professor of media ethics, Julianna Forlano.

Seen the original BP ads? For more of the most cookie-begging ad campaign in the history of cookies, check this out. Or, oooh, this one is just the worst.

Because, y'know, corporations are people. And sometimes they need a pat on the back. Or a hug. Or permission to expand offshore drilling. So BP has introduced Voices From The Gulf!

So, BP has chosen to treat the genuine badassery of people trying to eke out a living in the midst of the shitstorm they created as...wait for it...a branding opportunity. Perfectly appropriate! Thanks BP! We get that you're still in the Gulf, what would it take for you to get the fuck out and take all that oil and Corexit with you? It's hard to count the number of reasons these people should go directly to hell.

For more from the commie conspiracy to make a big deal out of the deformities in seafood, check out this lefty rag.

This week's Absurdity Today! takes on the Republican Wars, climate change, Roku and getting fired from a Christian school for being pregnant, or maybe it was...something else? Laugh here.

As the gender gap threatened to undermine their crusade for a one-term Obama, the GOP turned to Twitter to un-sink the Titanic. Don’t worry your pretty little heads about our party’s mandated transvaginal rapes and birth control bans, a host of Republicans shrieked. It is President Obama who is waging the war against women by sentencing two of them to life…on the Supreme Court.

FullofMitt: There’s no war on women coming from me. I’m so committed to protecting equality that I promise to lock Lilly Ledbetter in an airtight kennel. #TheDogLovedThat

JohnMcMaverick: War, you say? Well, we must bomb Womanistan before they force us to swallow their nuclear pill. #AlsoBombSyria #AndIran #AndCanada

ReinceStag: Who cares what the marketplace pays women? I need my wife to stay home to wage war on all these damn caterpillars clogging up my tax loopholes. #1%TopRateForThe1%

GovNikki: Women don’t care about birth control. They care about the rising cost of a decent mani-pedi & a vacuum that doesn’t lose suction.

Limpbaugh: Quit having so much sex! Or else send me your sex tapes. See, we stand for choice even more than them. #SoMuchViagraSoLittleCatholicBabePorn

GreatStateOfArizany: You can get the pill from your doctor only if you obtain permission from your boss. Also be sure to ask your boss whether your lunchtime BLT offends his faith.

FullofMitt: Contraceptions are people, my friends.

VomiSantorium: We’ll get the sluts next time. #Theocracy2016

MrsMitt: It’s grueling work managing five kids, five houses, a herd of dressage horses…not to mention all those nannies, undocumented gardeners & accounts in the Caymans.

FullofMitt: But Moms without $100 million IRAs must learn the dignity of minimum wage work. Also, let’s get rid of the minimum wage. #AndPlannedParenthood

VirginiaGOP: If a woman is pregnant, she’s ipso facto been penetrated before. So why would she object if the state shoves this transvaginal stick up in there too? #DoesntSheLoveHerHomeState?

GovofPenn: If a woman doesn’t want to look at the ultrasound screen, she can just close her eyes. It’s worked for my wife in our bedroom for nearly 40 years.

Dubya: The people of the United States will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with IUDs. #HeMustHaveHidThemInASecretWomb!

UndisclosedDick: The vaginas will treat us as liberators.

The headlines screamed: Barack Obama Discovers Cure for Cancer.

While throngs in capitals across the globe spontaneously massed to cheer the president’s astounding stamp on the history of humankind, the GOP stampeded to Twitter to spit their disgust at ObamaCure:

WTHuckabee: If you examine the anti-colonial views of the Mau Mau shamans in Kenya, you will discover that they too sought out cures for cancer. #witchdoctor

DonaldChump: I know his mother left him with this animus toward cancer, which is admirable and all. But what she didn’t leave him with was an actual birth certificate. #WatchMyShow!

SpeakerOfTheLobbyists: The American people sent us here to repeal this job-killing ObamaCure. Did I mention we’re broke? And the American people want us to cut Planned Parenthood more than cancer. #SoBeIt

Palinoscopy: ObamaCure is an outrageous blood libel, a Death Panel on the inalienable rights of our Real American PharmaCorps. to sell common sense conservative drugs. #MuslimBrotherhoodHatesCancerToo

RandAppall: The Constitution does not permit the president to Declare War on cancer without the debate & consent of Congress. #OrAquaBuddha

TheRyanBludgeonIt: We do not have a cancer problem. We have a spending on cancer problem. Cut taxes on small businesses like Koch & the free market will generate millions of new cancer cures. #AndMillionsOfNewCancerCustomers #FromPollution

aBeckalypseNow: Of course Barack Obama doesn’t want people to die from cancer. That will enable the higher birth rates in the Muslim world to sweep across this Earth like a Sendai tsunami. #BuyGold.

LieOfNewt: I loved my country so much that I had to take a new wife when my other wife got cancer. This ObamaCure is yet another secular socialist assault on my dating life.

TooMuchRush: So the Chosen One fixed cancer. La-di-dah! Well, what about the millions each year who die from heart disease, choking on half-chewed filet mignon or household falls? He’s done nothing but FAIL all of you.

GWB43: Hey! Reagan’s astrologer once told me that I’m a Cancer! That rascal 44 found a cure for me? #BringEmOn

Of course, this form of collective bargaining is a mere formality. Without basic medical care, women get UTIs, yeast infections, and all sorts of fun stuff that will prevent them from having sex. Or so I'm told.

So gents, while those of you who oppose funding for women's healthcare aren't literally cutting off your noses to spite your faces, there are anatomical equivalents that you are welcome to plop into that metaphor. Waytogo, geniuses.

Naturally, none of this is meant to exclude members of the LGBT community from this proposed arrangement. And there are lots of ways to help. And, for anyone who may somehow think this an objectifying premise in service of satirical advocacy, our apologies. But at least we aren't the first.