By John Gibson

The first knuckle-dragging people recognized they didn't want to raise their kids like the monkeys, so they set up another system.

...Gays can't have kids — other than going to the abandoned kids store and getting one or two, or borrowing sperm from someone with more sperm than brains — so by definition they're out of the marriage game...

I just watched Tom Fenton on The Daily show. He talked about how "dumbed down" the news and people are. I rest my case. This is actually considered writing.