NASA scientist were jubilant yesterday when a probe launched over six months ago successfully penetrated the ego of Hollywood star Tom Cruise.

Dr. Dale Huston, Project Director for the Ego Impact mission said that scientists will now have an unprecedented look at what goes into the make-up of a superstar. “We’ve had our theories, but now we’ll have some solid facts,” said Dr. Huston. “We’ve always known there is a real core of acting talent there but Cruise’s recent erratic behavior had scientist puzzled. He fired his long time publicist, has been jumping up and down on talk show couches and claimed that the fields of psychiatry and pharmacology are frauds, his ego lost stability as it expanded.”