Comrade Trump is heading to Europe for the NATO meeting, and like all good house guests, he’s planning on being gracious and thoughtful for the kindness and courtesies of his hosts.

Let’s see his state-of-the-art diplomacy and manners, shall we:

The United States is spending far more on NATO than any other Country. This is not fair, nor is it acceptable. While these countries have been increasing their contributions since I took office, they must do much more. Germany is at 1%, the U.S. is at 4%, and NATO benefits…….

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 9, 2018

…Europe far more than it does the U.S. By some accounts, the U.S. is paying for 90% of NATO, with many countries nowhere close to their 2% commitment. On top of this the European Union has a Trade Surplus of $151 Million with the U.S., with big Trade Barriers on U.S. goods. NO!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 9, 2018

…and then this morning, you know, over his Egg McMuffin:

Getting ready to leave for Europe. First meeting – NATO. The U.S. is spending many times more than any other country in order to protect them. Not fair to the U.S. taxpayer. On top of that we lose $151 Billion on Trade with the European Union. Charge us big Tariffs (& Barriers)!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 10, 2018

So you can see that he’s already picking his fight with his hosts. The Russian Usurper WILL NOT BE MADE A FOOL OF!!1!

Comrade Trump has a preternatural fear of being a chump, it’s what drives him. Since the moment he glided down his golden escalator he’s announced to the world that he will not allow himself (and I suppose by extension some very fine people if you get my drift) to be taken advantage of by rip-off artists, which happen to include (as we see above) our friends and allies.

Which seems really weird to me coming from the Provost of Trump U, the eponymous slinger of burned steaks, bad vodka, and bottled water, and failed casinos. If Comrade Trump has a brand, it is being the premier rip-off artist of his generation. From using his charities to pay his owns bills (and to purchase a ghastly painting of himself to hang at one of his clubs, probably Merde-a-Lardo), to stiffing his own fixer Michael Cohen (who paid off pornstar Stormy Daniels), to not paying all the contractors and tradesmen who built his various gauche sky palaces, Comrade Trump has been remarkably consistent in ripping off the little people. One might even say it is his hobby. Candidate Stupid even boasted about it during the 2016 Goat Rodeo:

“I take advantage of the laws of the nation because I’m running a company. My obligation right now is to do well for myself, my family, my employees, for my companies. And that’s what I do.”

Which brings us to today's news: he’s ripped off his chauffeur, too.

Excerpted from Mock Paper Scissors