Remember the joke about the guy who writes for Gateway Pundit, who is a huge Trump fanboi, and who joined hands with another right-wing conspiracy theorist to try and smear Robert Mueller? That would be Jacob Wohl and his pal Jack Burkman, who went ahead and convened the press in a Holiday Inn to tell reporters...nothing.

And nothing it was. No victim, no story, just...nothing. This is because there is no victim and there is no harassment by Special Counsel Mueller. In fact, it was established that on the day Wohl and Burkman claim Mueller was raping someone, he was actually in jury duty and that fact was reported in the Washington Post.

But Burkman did the whole presser with his fly down, so there was that. I guess if you've got no way to get legitimate attention, the next best thing to do is stand there with your fly down?

Jared Holt at Right Wing Watch explains the rest:

Mueller’s accuser was reportedly going to attend the conference but Burkman and Wohl said she left the area before the press conference out of fear for her life. A photo Wohl provided to Gateway Pundit as proof that Cass had traveled with him to Washington before leaving suddenly to return home was quickly called into question by internet sleuths who matched the ceiling in the photo to a terminal in the Los Angeles International Airport.

After you're done laughing as hard as I did, let's all remember that we're still waiting for the Whitey tape all these years later.

At one point, Burkman referred to Wohl as “a child prodigy who has eclipsed Mozart.”

“He can’t even open an E-Trade account,” someone shot back. Hey, that's what happens when you're banned for life from trading futures.

After this absurd moment brought to you by the smear merchants, Wohl was suspended from The Gateway Pundit. Can't get much lower than that, can you?

Update: Okay, Wohl produced a photo of the supposed "witness" with her face blacked out, claiming it was taken at the airport in Washington, DC where she bolted "in fear for her life."

Apparently he's unaware Google Images is a thing: