The "Wrapped In The Flag & Carrying The Cross" Edition, just in time for Independence Day!
(Alright, technically the theme is theocracy rather than the fascism referred to in that imagined quote. And most of the stuff in the lead is clickbait. There's one born every minute!)

Here comes Jesus!! Warning from Ten Bears.

Scottie's Playtime: Jesus will fire you if you don't toe the line.

Sensing a theme? ("Jesus! Guns! Babies!") So's Lauren Boebert. North Stars and Cowboy Bars explains.

An ossifer speaks, from which Corbin Smith concludes that the police are next to useless, & should be refunded.

Bonus from Juanita Jean (late, but too good not to): "Eyepatch McCain" is not a best-selling author. All grift, all the time.

Slaved over a hot keyboard by M. Bouffant. Submit submissions to mbru@crooksandliars.com.