Epic Fail: Bernie Goldberg's advice to Ann Coulter
By David Neiwert Friday Jan 09, 2009 7:45am
In the previous night's edition of Talking Out My Hindquarters (aka The O'Reilly Factor), BillO The Clown got into a hilarious Ego Pie Fight with Ann The Bozo over some advice he wanted to pass along from a fellow wingnut buffoon, Bernie Goldberg (Coulter just snorted and said she only listened to people who sold more books than she her, which I guess means she's listening closely to Stephen King and Danielle Steele).
So BillO, kindly fellow that he is, had Goldberg on tonight to finally make his offering (not before, of course, noting that both he and BillO's books have sold better than Coulter's):
Goldberg: Here's the advice I would have given: Go on with liberal journalists. And tell them: "Yeah, do I go over the top sometimes? Do I say things that perhaps don't sound civil? Yeah. But I do it to point out your hypocrisy. Because if Al Franken came on, or Bill Maher -- two really nasty guys as far as I'm concerned -- you would sit there and giggle with them, you liberal anchor. But when I come on, you're all over me. That's why I do it -- to point out your liberal hypocrisy."
That was my only advice.
O'Reilly: And that was great advice.
Goldberg: Perhaps she'd want to listen, perhaps not. I agree with Ann Coulter 90 percent of the time.
O'Reilly: I think that Ann Coulter is watching right now. And she should do that, because that is devastating. That is absolutely devastating, when the liberal people go after her, say, hey, if it were Franken or Maher here you'd be yukkin' it up.
Yeah, that would have been devastating, just devastating.
Unless, of course, the "liberal" (read: non-wingnut) show host/journalist had two brain cells to scratch together (not always a given) and could muster a response along the following lines:
"Sure, Ann, but neither Franken nor Maher -- nor for that matter any liberal you can name -- have ever joked about bombing thousands of people at the New York Times Building, or urged their audiences to act like violent thugs against their political opponents, or proudly trumpeted the use of ethnic slurs, or extolled the virtues of 'local fascism.'
"We're not talking about your political views, Ann -- we couldn't care less if you're right, left, center, or upside-down. We're talking about fundamental human decency. You plainly lack it. Franken and Maher may offend, but they don't descend into the sewer from which you regularly come crawling."
Something like that. It could be simpler. But you get the idea.
And I suspect Coulter -- unlike her grandfatherly advisers -- is smart enough to know that, which is why she doesn't bother.
Login or Register to post comments.
...with her extremely stupid, hate filled bullshit. Franken or Maher would destroy Andy while making us laugh.
Great example of the bland trying to lead the blind.
I think military headquarters during wartime should be called hindquarters, since they're usually located in the rear
Where ann likes it too.
the gerbils can hang glide in her ass.
That comment is so horribly crass, yet for some sick reason it made me laugh. I gotta give you an "A" for imagination.
I've got high friends in low places, but if my mom knew I was typing that kind of stuff I'd be grounded.
Goldberg forgets that Bill Maher has played patsy with Ann on Real Time in the past. All it did was make him look like a high school nerd trying to get a date with the lead cheerleader.
..."Politically Incorrect" and that was partly because everyone on the panel ganged up on that crazy bitch. Maher said on "Larry King Live" recently he hasn't talk to Mr. Coulter for a long time. Besides, everyone knows Maher loves brown sugar.
For some reason that whole conversation reminded me of the cartoon that used to be in MAD magazine, Spy vs. Spy. Funny in a silly kind of way.
I am happy to say that I have never added one cent to any of these three people's book sales.
What about MAD sales?
She could make more money working on the streets of Seoul, as a freaky, tranny hooker, pleasuring wealthy businessmen than she could ever make as an author.
This, and some of the other comments, sound so remarkably similar to the ones Coulter makes that it just goes to show that racist, sexist bigotry is apolitical.
In Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them Al positively skewered ann as either someone who doesn't know how to research or use Lexus, to farcical citations, to outright not telling the truth about New York Times "non-reporting" of the Dale Nascar guy's death.
I felt the same way as I read the this post. And David made me laugh out loud with the line: "In the previous night's edition of Talking Out My Hindquarters (aka The O'Reilly Factor)..."
Great stuff!
Here's a shorter version:
Coulter has no sense of humour, she just shares her hate.
They are not that much more advanced in years for their advice to Annie to be considered grandfatherly. In Bill O's case it would be
leering uncle. In any case they are the unlitmate trio of "victimized" whiners.
When your paper is graded poorly because you answered 2+2=5, it's not bias, it's because you got the answer WRONG. Not because people can't handle the truth of 2+2=5.
Come on, we know she's a fake, it's an act she's getting rich off of and the folks who like her and agree with her are just too stupid to see it. She blathers on about premarital sex and abstinence education - is she married? Is she the earth's oldest virgin?
I am just sick of seeing her creepy long, narrow face and eerily elongated hands and feet and bobbing Adam's apple. Can we just ignore her and let her sell her books in the incest belt and let that be that?
Interesting how the Bible-belt has the highest incidence of incest and teen pregnancy.
I guess after using a doubled up belt on a teen's bare butt the parents get horny.
"That's why I do it -- to point out your liberal hypocrisy"
goldberg takes a huge dump on o'lielly's desk, begging to be challenged. damn, i so wish the interview happened on democracyNow!, or NOW, or colbert, or even the daily show.
of course goldberg doesn't go on to support his claim, but that is the rightwing for ya. there is no support.
if this was 1994 this might have been a 'daaaaamn, snap!' moment, in 2009 it is just effin pitiful.
from Skeletor?
(Dr. Howard, this is Dr. Fine. Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard ...)
Seriously? Physician, heal thyself.
But, no. Bill-O claims he's a culture warrior. Goldberg holds himself up as a shining paragon of virtue protecting us from invisible media bias. Rush Limbaugh calls himself a comedian, then admits he's carrying water for the GOP. Glenn Beck cries mock tears as he tells us the heartwarming tale of the Christmas sweater.
Face it, decent people don't behave like this lot.
As the Bible says, "... on that day, there will be cries of 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy and do great works in your name?' And I will say unto them, 'Away from me, you evildoers! I know you not!'"
So bush plagiarized god when he used the word, "evildoers"?
Well, who knew?
satire and pointing out hypocrisy can be cruel but based in truth- coulter feeds off an absolutist alternate reality created by limbaugh and sons.
mike malloy or randi rhodes or sam seder can be very cruel when they call out the right wing flat earthers and hypocrites but much of coulter's humor is like limbaugh's- based in myths, lies, distortions, bullying, racism, and exaggerations they help create themselves with 20 years of a dominant talk radio monopoly.
and limbaugh uses prescription drugs in excess.
Now things are starting to make sense.
With a name like bernie goldberg, wouldn't ann insist he should be perfected, or has he already?
In the same manner that bringing up Hitler is an automatic lose, we need to do the same when these yahoos bring up their Invisible Sky Daddy.
Now we know who she listens to based on book sales,
Mein Kampf sold 8 million copies by 1945
http://www.cabinetmagazine.org/issues/10/mein...
thanks in advance,
Boozemop
Godgod law?
Why don't we call it:
The messiah rule!
I thought that was my mother's rule:
You messiah it up; you clean it up.
*
Looks like Bill Maher can't get enough of Ann Coulter.
http://www.speakerseries2009.com/
You are the walrus
Koo koo koo choo...
People actually Pay Money to sit in an auditorium and be force fed crap from these cretins??
It's easier than having to worry about things like THINKING.
asking Goldberg to comment about Coulter.
Can anyone say "spoogfest"?
Jeezus, the sheets need to be changed at Fucks news.
Bedwetting or Klan?
Take the transcript of Coulter's appearance this week w/Matt Lauer and change the characters. Have Senator Al Franken play the part of Ann, and have Ann be Matt. Let them reenact the entire scene, and we'll see who acts the fool (if there was any doubt).
One thing about it, Ann's got the fake laugh down pat. I truly believe she is clinically insane. She's like a bulldozer--shrill, overbearing, and lies like hell. The fact that she idolizes herself and her followers makes my skin crawl.
I put this on the tweety thread, but I think it fits better here.
This is on the entertainment value of TV:
Reminds me of a joke from a 1969 episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Graham Chapman in drag as a little ol lady saying, "I must say I object to all this sex on television. I mean! I keep falling off."
I used to have a boss who could not tell that joke to save her life. She'd say "I'm tired of all this sex on top of the television set because I keep falling off." Or some other equally wrong way of saying it. She'd be in stitches though.
I expect them to say outrageous things that's what they do. Coulter and BillO are clowns out of circumstances and the fact they just lie all the time.
...is nothing but a clorbag varblernelk.
(I always wanted to use that.)
How does such rampant stupidity survive? Why have we not taken to the streets by the millions to get rid of this nightmare?
I know how she can lose 10 lbs of ugly fat real fast.
... it's gotta be bone. I mean, she looks too drawn and haggard to have fat, and certainly, her brain doesn't weigh that much ...
You know, those pieces of roadkill that have been drying out on the pavement for a couple weeks and have gone beyond the jerky state.
Franken and Maher are "really nasty?" What a joke. I've read a couple of Franken's books and there's nothing particularly nasty or mean spirited in them. Goldberg's just mad because Franken made a fool of him.
Why can't she just write her thoughts on the wall with excrement like her peers?
and Coulter is a bigot, regardless of the labels you assign to an industry competitor.
i am not able to just laugh at how stupid coulter is as i think there is a real danger to the methods she uses, the intent of her work. she is one of an army of misinformers and arguably sociopathic individuals who are all working towards the destruction of the true america. because they push ideas and use tactics which misinform and create frustrated emotions and anger, not thought. we try to have these intelligent dialogues, civil discourse at our own peril as folks like ann do not care about truth or the common good! it is clear the neocon ideology, like the nazis, is simply bad for the majority of life on the planet. coulter will not be going away as long as there are equally ignorant rich folk funneling money into propaganda outlets, publishing books like coulter's or giving various pundits screen time. we must not be fooled into thinking compromise is possible as they will not be compromising. but what can a free society do to limit the influence of a diseased mind and worldview?
isn't the tiresome disgruntled former CBS employee persona getting a wee bit OLD?
McCarthyism would die unless Ann keeps up the fight.
Let's all stand behind her and push.
"Look who's here to see you"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYl-_H9xIc4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMj3VpEAcHs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiS1Lm82X6M
...looking at that picture of these two pathetic, old, frustrated, paranoid hypocrites; it's enough to draw a little pity from those who are not embicilic fans of these two clowns.
Whine, bitch, moan, fear-monger and fart...it's about all they have left. I'm just wondering how much longer "mr. #2" is going to stay on the propaganda network? I honestly think he should have tossed in the towel there and continued his rant and bull shit via radio like limpballs has been doing. He can play to his own crowd of disgruntled, self-centered hypocritical losers. But now...he has to be viewed by both sides, and he looks even older, stupider, more frustrated, and certainly more hypocritical than before.
Dunce of the week...but leader to a nation of morons.
Login or Register to post comments.