There's nothing like O'Reilly intoning: 'Say baby, put down that pipe'
[H/t Blue Gal]
Alan Scherstuhl at the Village Voice's Runnin' Scared blog recently made available some prime audio clips of Bill O'Reilly reading aloud from what is universally acclaimed as his creepiest (not to mention most hypocrisy-inducing) book:
That honor goes to Those Who Trespass, his 1998 novel about an O'Reilly-esque TV journalist who is trained by an Irish Republican Army terrorist to kill the people who deserve it the most: the broadcast news bastards who interfered with the O'Reilly character's career. It's personal on the political level, too -- his victims includes a powerful "bitch" named Hillary and a fat "slob" named Martin Moore.
The prime lines:
"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."
"I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on."
"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."
"Off with those pants."
"I wish I were a lesbian."
So BlueGal concocted the mashup above, with O'Reilly's appearance on The View. Enjoy.
BTW, the plot of Those Who Trespass is something else:
The antagonist is a tall, "no-nonsense" television journalist named Shannon Michaels, described as the product of two Celtic parents, who is pushed out by Global News Network, and systematically murders the people who ruined his career.
Meanwhile, the protagonist, a "straight-talking" Irish-American New York City homicide detective named Tommy O’Malley, is charged with solving the murders that Michaels has committed, while competing with Michaels for the heart of Ashley Van Buren, a blond, sexy aristocrat turned crime columnist. Some reviewers have claimed that Michaels and O'Malley are "thinly veiled versions" of O'Reilly.
Michael's first victim is a news correspondent who stole his story in Argentina, and got him into trouble with the network. He then stalks the woman who forced his resignation from the network and throws her off a balcony. After that he murders a television research consultant who had advised the local station to dismiss him by burying him in beach sand up to his neck and letting him slowly drown. Finally, during a break in the Radio and Television News Directors Association convention, he slits the throat of the station manager. After this, he is pursued by O'Malley and Van Buren, where he attempts to lose them by crossing a runway in front of a speeding jet. Although he makes it, his car's right back tire is cut by the jet's wing, causing the car to spin, flip over, and be subsequently melted by the exhaust from the jet, which explodes. Michaels dies in extreme agony, as his contacts (used to hide his identity) burn into his eyes and a chunk of the car crushes his head in.
Sounds like a work with real deep moral insight. My kinda culture warrior.
:-)
A man so grotesque that the simple act of begging for pussy cost him millions.
disgusting pervert will suffice
I could say much worse at risk of a vaction.
ot, but i want to disagree with john
im a jew and i think the term schvartze should not be used, even in a comedy routine
mason is no lenny bruce...he doesnt use words to disarm, he uses words to attack
don rickles, the king of insult comedy, never used derogatory words...just based his comedy on absurd stereotypes
and word to jackie...you aint white, you idiot
just ask the nazis and the kkk
btw, bill had that idiot bernie goldberg on to state the same thing
during the piece, goldberg insisted that dictionaries are created by liberals
oh, and then they got into why would abc send a news crew up to alaska interview levi johnson
funny, i didnt see loofa boy get upset when greta went up to interview bristol
I was wondering who was in charge of deciding who is white.
So it's KKK and the Nazis. Got it.
When Al Franken had his radio show on Air America, clips from O'Reilly's Audio book were regularly featured
ICK!!!
Major ick!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHnwTvNaZTg
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
That is one of my all-time fave movies.
Obviously, that book is about BillO himself, based on real life experiences, or fantasies he has.
I'm sure Keith Olbermann and others will have a field day with this!
The thing i find infuriating about this freak is his complete and utterly amazing lack of talent in any type of media. This book is written with the skill of a 10th grade remedial english writing assignment. His television show is like a half-assed public access show bolstered only by the luscious breasts of his Barbie Doll cohorts. His radio show is horribly produced, horribly executed, and has the dialogue of a senior citizens Bingo game - but without the riveting conversation. Like Greg Giraldo screamed in frustration at the roast of "Larry the Cable Guy" - "How the fuck are you so popular!!"
The lunch I had wasn't quite as good the second time around.
Disgusting liver-spotted, small handed, drunk misogynist.
I would rather try my luck with the poisonous spider than with O'Reilly. I'd feel safer, at least!
:S
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
Since I'm feeling a little disgusted right now about BillO, is it okay to mention Beck? Tonight the first half of his show was him fretting about people being incited to riot, not of course by him. The second half was all about how many people are buying guns now. So who was his guest for this second half? Yep, Wayne Lapierre. I found the two topics in one show kind of ironic.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
Conservatives' sense of irony is turned off. Pitiful, isn't it?
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
Heads you lose, tails you lose.
Hey, who stole my quarter??
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
Throw Rush Limbaugh some Viagra and Bill O a falafel and see whose pipe goes up first.
....er, make that whose pipe cleaner goes up first.
I'm so glad I haven't eaten today yet! :(
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
When you're ready, I know where you can get a slightly used falafel with low calorie mayonnaise.
:S
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
And give Beck a box of tissues too. You know that no matter whose pipe goes up first, it's gonna make Glenn cry.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
Gives new meaning to the term "Drivin' and Cryin'"...
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
I don't know, watching those pipe cleaners (trying to) go up might make him all crazy eyed!
Glenn's a really awkward bedroom partner? There would be something wrong with him if he cries after that too!
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
I was thinking of suing you for putting that image in my head, but then I remembered it's almost Happy Hour so the alcohol will hopefully wash my mind clean.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
I'm deeply sorry, Patricia! I'm laughing at that image more than anything else, but can totally understand the horror it would cause for others! :P
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
Oh the other irony on beck's show tonight was Michelle Malkin on his show talking about how awful it is that at the hearings today Reps asked for the names of the AIG people who got the bonuses. She seems to fear for their families. I guess she would know all about stalking, huh?
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
...
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
David will grab it for sure. The whole damned show was like watching a freak sideshow at a circus or something. As usual I started laughing. It's like Colbert, except they seem serious or crazy or something.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
The word treasonous comes to mind.
*
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
O'reilly reading sexually suggestive writing makes parthenogenesis seem like a more stimulating reproductive alternative.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
would make even the most seasoned and drug-addled crack whore run for the door.
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
Parthenogenesis only produces females.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
"So"...
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
... than in real life.
And I am NOT going to watch this thread's video!
He is a scary man, after all. :S
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
I did warn people at my blog to get the brain bleach ready and then I ran it at The Aristocrats so I wouldn't have to. :S
these lovely little snippets of Bill aren't on a soundboard. The possibilities are endless.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
It's so easy to grab and convert audio these days if you want it. But yeah there are all kinds of ways to go with it. Mash with the "we'll do it live" piece, put it on with some b&w crime drama footage. B-movie the whole thing.
That's friggin great!
And I agree that every time we see a clip of him, this audio along with his raging and cursing in the "we'll do it live" tantrum scene and a voice-over of his threats against Andrea Makris for filing a lawsuit against him (before he knew she'd taped him) should be run on top of it.
Those women from the View must have had to take Tums and Alka-selzer and Dramamine BEFORE he ever came on to prevent their vomiting in his face.
It just occurred to that I would want to read Billo's crime novel about as much as I would want to read the romance novels that Saddam Hussein allegedly wrote, i.e. not at all.
Both I am betting are crimes against literature, Billo's novel for sure!
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
Hi Guys! Thanx to ya all,and Bluegal for this fun,funny,hilarious thread.I love the movie idea,using clips from old crime/film noir clips.One of you guys that are computer gifted should really do this! LOL!SOMEWHERE you could insert the famous clip from "Kiss Of Death,where Richard Widmark pushes the old lady in the wheelchair down the stairs,ya know, clips like that. The possibilities are endless,where Dildo is concerned.
Also,I must have missed it, but what is the skinny concerning Jackie Mason,anyone?
Again, LOVE this site,and all you crazy guys. It is now my favorite site.
Deb,Vegas
About Jackie Mason thing,before one of ya becomes a smart ass: NEVER MIND!, LOL! It's on the next thread.
Deb, Vegas
I bet he hears that a LOT.
Bill O’Reilly’s sleazy sex tapes now on video
http://www.ihatethemedia.com/bill-oreilly-sex...
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