Wingnuttery deluxe: Palin's God Can Kick Obama's God's Ass
Over in the Alan Keyes quadrant of Planet Wingnuttia, Pastor J. Grant Swank foresees the forces of the apocalypse, good and evil, lining up respectively behind Sarah Palin and President Obama in some looming global showdown.
According to the good pastor, Obama's real religion is Islam:
Obama's so-called holy writ is the abominable Koran. His hope for eternity is unknown; but if he becomes a suicide bomber for Allah, he will be guaranteed pronto a score of virgins for everlasting. His hope for the present seems to be his reliance upon Islam's Koran furthered by his clandestine support of Islam World Rule via czars and a shadow government given to overthrowing our Republic.
Of course, out comes the eliminationist rhetoric -- followed by the balm that is Sarah Palin:
This cancer sore Obama is the most dangerous occurrence ever in all the Republic's history for it promises us our doom.
Then comes along Sarah Palin. What does she hold out for the populace?
She speaks of common sense politics, a Christian heritage history continuance, reliance upon the God of Scripture, actual hope in prayer and the Holy Spirit's guidance in one's personal faith life.
She comes from a biblical base regarding worship gatherings. It is not theological liberalism as touted in the United Church of Christ, Episcopal Church, Anglican Church, United Church of Canada, Unitarianism, Evangelical (a misnomer) Lutheran Church of America and other anti-Christ labels.
She worships with Christians who seek to live out the Bible, confess to following Christ as personal Redeemer, pray daily, conduct family devotions, believe in miracles, repent of their sins and then yearn to go forth in holiness.
Palin is the antithesis to Obama. Palin represents a biblical way of life. Obama represents a satanic cult.
America is now faced with the choice of Palin or Obama. Of course, in weeks and months to come, someone else may log in to sideline Palin. But at the moment, it is Palin versus Obama.
Wonder if Sarah will give this a shout-out on her Facebook page.
Pastor Swank has a, um, thing about Islam. Check out Jesus' General's recent post about some evil Muslims the pastor found sacrificing goats on Black Friday.
only he has the good and evil folk reversed.
Dear Lord, call this f*ck home! Praise Jesus!
http://jmason.org/slack/S-or-D.gif
Some stuff you can't make up!
http://www.thedrakingpoint.com/cartoons/view/...
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Does anyone wonder? If Obama was elected in the 1950's I bet you anything that they would be calling him a secret communist rather than a secret Muslim. The facts really don't matter in these people's heads.
Republicans are so predictable. Find the current boogey man and accuse the people you hate of being in league with them. . . facts be damned.
Oh. . and add a bit of religious crazy to top it off. . .
...to equate a gibbering fame
whorehungry fool like Palin to a sitting president of the United States. Lord ha' mer'ceh, she couldn't even finish one term as governor!Nice try, wingnuts.
I'm just superstitious enough to hedge my bets.
Palin's like the attention starved White House party crashers. Only dumber.
J. Grant S. Wank.
Jack Alterboy.
I'm sorry for being so blunt and maybe even for the vulgarity but thee people a fuc$%(@ing NUTS !
They should all be locked up in ANY remaining mental institution this afternoon!
Why do you think Reagan closed all the mental hospitals? So he could recruit the inmates but also to be certain they couldn't again be locked up. Good luck finding a place to lock them up.
If god is on Palin's side, how come McCain didn't win, then die and now Palin would be president?
Okay, why isn't this man in a mental institution and I want to see his birth certificate. I also want to see anything that proves he's got one ounce of sense.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
since science was created by the devil, it makes sense... don'cha'know?
I guess god didn't take any civics classes either. He didn't seem to know how to play the politics game.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
... and looking at the piss poor writing and continuity issues in the bible, chances are that his home curriculum was not that good either.
wrote it. Oh, wait. They're just revising it now, right? I guess God didn't do a good enough job for them, if he wrote it.
Homeschooling can provide an excellent education. Not all homeschoolers are religious nut jobs. Probably around 50-60%, but not all.
It's just like in every other area of life, the religious/nut job/crazies shout louder than the rest of us, and drown out the sane ones.
I've known some very intelligent (religious moderate) home schooled individuals. Their main issue was in dealing with crowds, but that's the old home schooling vs. socialization thing.
If the parents are intelligent, they can often provide as good as or better elementary education as a school system starved of cash, resources, people, and a curriculum bound by not offending the types that need to be shouted down. (Education is a beautiful thing, but this country is loosing the infrastructure to do it.)
I can see this asshat spewing this crap from the pulpit and the parishioners nodding their heads in agreement from the pews.
Jesus, save me from your followers.
And there was a dust up over Rev. Wright?
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
Does anyone want to start up some bets as to whether the homosexual scandal he inevitably gets caught up in involves adults or children?
Or a male prostitute and a meth pipe?
I am not sure the "meth vs. men's bathroom" category is fair since you can have both.
...a white sheet, hood and large wooden cross...
"Buy the ticket, take the ride."
Hunter S. Thompson
Sure. Put me down for ten bucks on both adults and kids.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
this fellow. I think he is going to revolutionize the field... I will take "caught f*cking farm animals" for $2000 Alex.
The way Tiger Woods' week has been going, you don't think... uh, naaaahhhh. OK, put me down for fifty.
Palin. I got $100.00. What odds are you giving?
A Palin drag queen? Oh... my... gawd...
My brain just exploded. Excuse me while I clean up.
..beasts of the field.
Generally speaking I don't trust anyone making over 150K a year.
Swank, you are psychotic -- a.k.a., a clear and substantive break with reality. God bless!
"Secular humanism -- a fearless, realistic world view replete with doubt and scepticism that attempts to attain an unachievable state of equilibrium between and among the human qualities of reason, intuition, imagination, memory, ethics and common sense.
Play Star Spangled banner here.
Xtianity is second only to Islam in its extremists. That doesn't make it any good.
"Palin is the antithesis to Obama. Palin represents a biblical way of life. Obama represents a satanic cult."
"America is now faced with the choice of Palin or Obama."
Well golly I don't know what to do now Pastor.
Maybe you could dumb things down a bit more?
Make things a little more black and white,a little more Good versus evil?
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "
-Jack Handy
I guess this "pastor" never got to the part about bearing false witness. Or have they edited that out in the new version of their Babble?
Lucifer v. Beezelbub. Cage matches.
"America is now faced with the choice of Palin or Obama."
Ummm.... Didn't we have that choice already? Last November? Didn't we *choose*? Didn't
the ignernt tw@tPalin loose?HAHAHA!!! Too hysterical!! "Palin is the antithesis to Obama. Palin represents a biblical way of life. Obama represents a satanic cult." It's like watching people playing Final Fantasy, albeit less entertaining, and swearing it's all real. Cause as we all know, religion/fantasy is SERIOUS. BUSINESS.
"She worships with Christians who seek to live out the Bible, confess to following Christ as personal Redeemer, pray daily, conduct family devotions, believe in miracles, repent of their sins and then yearn to go forth in holiness."
Ah yes. And, naturally, those who do not wish to follow the tyrannical space god of their imaginations must be immoral and destroyed.
... how come she is not back at home, shutting up and minding her domestic obligations to Todd?
Hey now. Don't bash Final Fantasy. The stories in the various FF's actually make sense, unlike religion.
The story telling has really progressed, and I like their "blurring" of good vs. evil.
Where does Palin's witch doctor fit in all of this?
Good question.
He's the proverbial fly in the ointment what?
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "
-Jack Handy
..
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To this guy her witch doctor is golden.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
showers her with blessings ...
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Why o why did you feel the need to go there?
Terrible mental image.
When angry, count four, when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain-
I've got far, far worse...
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
Is that like "making it rain" at the strip club?
"Buy the ticket, take the ride."
Hunter S. Thompson
...looking to fleece the wingnuts.
Swank: dictionary definition: "swaggering, ostentatious behavior, speech, etc."
This one sure lives up to his name.
He puts the WANK in SWANK.
he puts WANK in his mouth too.
I don't know if it's Satanic - but what Obama is taking us to in Afghanistan is horrifying.
Nice job working a completely unrelated jab on Obama into the topic!
It's the Repug trolls' default setting.
Then imagine President Palin for a moment.
You want horror? Oy.
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "
-Jack Handy
We thought we were a global laughing stock when Chimp was president.
We were but if we elect Palin our laughing stock will go up.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
No one would be laughing all that long, once she started actively trying to bring about the rapture...
on Levi's baby mama!
How long would the lead on the Whitehouse roof remain unstolen !
That horse is dead and out of respect, please stop beating it.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
is desperate, more than satanic.
Mary Murphy from So You Think You Can Dance is Satan.
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "
-Jack Handy
so I'll take your word for it. ;-)
... with some clueless bimbo thinking God is giving her sage advice?
Perhaps we can have General Jerry 'Blot on the Map' Boykin advise her, along with all the other outstanding Christian folk in Congress.
What people like Palin and Swanky-panky represent is NOT the faith I was raised in.
...living according to the Bible involves;
-Lying
-Quitting
-Lying about quitting
-Lying about why you are quitting
-Blaming every one else for your problems
-Claiming 'God's will' for everything that happens to you, but 'Satan's Influence' for what happens to people you don't like
-Willful ignorance
-Extreme Pride
-Intellectual dishonesty
-General dishonesty
-Extreme arrogance
-Sitting in judgment of others
-Praying for death or misfortune to strike another, or supporting those who do
-Stealing
-Making false accusations
Good to know!!!
I'm sure I missed a few hundred...
She's not intellectually dishonest. She's just stupid.
this comb-over dip$hit has tax exempt status for this little operation that is doing such a good job separating Church and State ...?
nice pic he links to btw:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_U_DH1UV7fAY/Sw_mzHI...
Oh yeah ...
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Nice symbolism - she's jerking the snake from Eden and uhh . . that gun in her lap represents . . freedom?!?
That picture is a great example of how twisted right wing reverence for this nutty broad really is.It's sex and guns and WW2 propaganda all mixed up in one big bowl of wrong.
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "
-Jack Handy
that sounds like a heck of a movie script!
she was giving the cobra a lap dance ...thats not inapropriate is it?
(...Frankly the longshoreman legs put me off a bit ...)
but ...just exactly what the heck is she sitting on?
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This clown's '1776' website:
http://www.thomasbrewton.com/index.php/weblog...
....at the upper left ... proud strong independent American Lighthouse ... ?
Except ... ooops!
http://www.novascotiatravel.ca...
Canadian....
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..all religion is the anti-thesis to knowledge & reason.
Religion is all that is bad about the human race and should be treated for the cancer that it is.
all miss and dream of certain pasts best forgotten...
Brian Haner - Grandma Was A Racist
I know that it is useles to even remind these nucking futs that both Islam and Christianity share a comon root, or that the exesses of Islam are no worse than the exesses of Christianity, but still.
Thats why I say that these people are not Christians, they do not follow the teachings of Christ, they are Revelationists. The only book they believe in is the book of Revelations (and choice parts of Leviticus), like the idiots at Rapture Ready they spend their whole lives waiting for something that was made up 170 years ago (the Rapture) and bad-mouthing anything that does not shoe-horn into their narrow biblical point-of-view.
Revelationists or Rapturists, not Christian.
When angry, count four, when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain-
Armageddon was going to be a lot worse then the way it's been pitched in the past but now that it's here it is quite funny.
This guy is a complete and utter moron. Anyone who believes what he says is totally stupid. Or maybe he's not a moron - maybe he's trying to make people scared because fear of imminent death is a good way to part people and their money. Either way, he's a disgusting thing.
scenario 2
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "
-Jack Handy
and DVD, you got to buy the set to understand.
we need ur support because “Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East", "The biblical prophecies are being fulfilled", and "This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins.”
Lighten up, would you, Pastor!?
White House" now. Haven't you heard?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYgUDdho9gY
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Why did he make humans so stupid and gullible?
. .
are standing upside down on this ball at least till morning.
Thank God for gravity.
So many don't take advantage of the second thing preferring to just become giant children.
and if you traveled out there you would fall off the edge. How long ago was that concept popular? Evolution sure takes it time doesn't it?
... almost no one ever thought that. Especially not sailors who could see land masses & ships come up over the horizon.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myth_of_the_Flat...
Wait -- I can't see this guy's hands ... where are they?
*
Tell Grant how much you care!
grantswank@roadrunner.com
Who said God doesn't have a sense of humor.
So, he's right and everybody else is wrong.
Sweet.
covered with cobwebs and the nut's will still be babbling about the sky falling.
True Christians should not ask if the bible is moral, or if God is moral. If God is the source of morality, then asking if God is moral is like asking if goodness is good. To ask seriously if God or the bible is moral (with a possible negative answer) is to assume that "moral" means something apart from God, and that we already know what it means independently of the bible.
If the word "moral" has meaning by itself, then right and wrong can be understood apart from God, and judging the morality of God puts him under the jurisdiction of a higher level of criticism. This is true even if the judgment is favorable. To the believer, questioning the morality of God is blasphemy. It implies that the "supreme judge" can be judged.--Dan Barker
Study the symptoms not the virus...
So who is the well-heeled aristocrat who has managed to pull this sociopathic, screaming moron off of some street corner and given him a bigger microphone?
Is it just me or does Alan Keyes sound like Marvin the Martian?
religious fundamentalists in the US see Palin as their salvation much as they did in George Bush. Someone shallow, facile and easily persuadable to ignore that pesky constitution of yours. All they got from George was a lot of hot air, some funding for faith based initiatives (which was largely used for political purposes) and some appointments to the justice department of some of the choicest incompetents from their religious safety schools. They expected so much more.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
He's gay. He's got to be. His only thrill, since being married-with-children, is feeding off the fear he's creating. Sad!
Update: I just tried to e-mail Mr. Grant my theory he's gay but his e-mail address, grantswank@roadrunner.com, isn't working. Anyone have a different one for me to use?
Thus spake J. Grant Swank about Queen Sara of Know Knothing Knation:
She couples her ignorance of world affairs with immutable certainty about her positions on world affairs.
She is a theocrat who will run the country as if it were an officially established Crazy Christian Republic.
She believes in the one true god, not what heathens, Huns and other hell-bound non-human, non-Americans believe.
She is a bigot who will not attend services with people unlike her.
She is insane, and will interpret world events consistent with her delusions, and will be guided in policy by the voices in her head.
We in Know Knothing Knation are superior to the rest of you vile, worthless, satanic, Socialist liberals.
Everyone is equally entitled to the pursuit of happiness. Wasn't that once self evident?
32And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:
33And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
34Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
40And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
41Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
42For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:
43I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
44Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
45Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
46And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.
Matthew 32-46 KJV
Jesus was quite the Satanist, twere He?
Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.
Ezekiel 16:49 KJV.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
This passage in particular:
“And swell not thy cheek
(For pride) at men,
Nor walk in insolence
Through the eath:
For Allah loveth not
Any arrogant boaster.
And be moderate
In thy pace, and lower
Thy voice, for the harshest
Of sounds without doubt
Is the braying of the ass .”
(Luqman: verses 18-19).
Come to think of it, lots of self-described Christians should head this advice.
Speaking of which:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6dm9rN6oTs
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
One thing that Jesus was right about is that it is not what goes into the body but what comes out of it that makes one unclean. Swank is the perfect example of this. His words emerge from his evil heart. Expect more from him in the future.
Quick someone get this guy a white smock and a butterfly net . I'm beginning to think this end times stuff is for real , people are losing their frigging minds . I wish their God would rapture these lunatics and freaks the hell outta here NOW .
Preferably one that goes with his ass face.
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
(Matthew 18:20, KJV)
swank, are you calling your God a liar?
I suggest you look up 2 Cor. 11:13-15, Gal. 1:6-8,Tim. 4:1-4, Mark 13:21-23, John 10:10, Acts 20:30
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Joe Swank is a raving lunatic and has been for years. Why give him this space?
He was fired from organized religion years ago and now "spreads the word of God" to three or four people that meet in his parlor.
C & L has given him more exposure in this thread than he's had anywhere... and that (imo) is a shame.
In My Orifice?
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
You're right. This was just too damned funny not to poke fun at, tho. We gotta get our laughs sometime.
O.K., I guess you're right but the thought of Joey Swank getting sexual gratification for "hitting the big time" (C&L) still bothers me.
I thought that was Charles Nelson Reilly...!
why do the holy rollers always have such unholy hair?
Ry Cooder explained this better than anyone I've ever heard.
(Ry's opinion of preachers comes 7:27 into the video but I recommend you listen to the whole song, it's (imo) one of the best live performances... ever)
that was excellent. i hope you were at that show!
Unfortunately I was 85 miles northeast of Santa Cruz and raising kids... I didn't have a clue.
I did get a hold of a great bootleg video out of Japan called "Return of the Chicken Skin Music". It includes most of Ry Cooder's 70's and early 80's videos from Holland, the Record Plant in Sausalito, Germany, Old Grey Whistle Test and The Catalyst in Santa Cruz, CA where the link I posted above happened.
...read about Pastor Rick Warren in this new blog:
http://www.charlesbelser.com
They're the same God. Unless God has multiple personalities, the statement shows how far behind the times (or out in the boonies) Pastor Warren is. Pastor Warren is a moron. Which reminds me of the recent The Office episode where Dwight fought himself in a demonstration of martial arts. Pretty funny.
Their entire philosophy is built on illogic
I consider Islam and Christianity both to be oppressive cults that discourage independent thought, preach self loathing and the hatred of others, and demand obedience....Both religions- ALL religions seem to be cults- Perhaps all religion are cults.
I have Christians in my family- I see zero appeal in their religion- the whole premise of Christianity is to worship Jesus as a god, or else he'll ship you off to Hell. WHY the f*ck would any sane human being want to belong to such a fear fueled cult? Islam is no better..
When Christians slam other religions- or when Muslims slam other religions for worshipping the 'wrong god'- I'm reminded how primative human beings really are....We pray to GODS in this day and age????
WTF!
What religion of HATE maintains a Secret House for member of Congress and the Senate to live in, Moore importantly what is that Religion (Cult) called, yes the religion of Hate, Intolerance, Indifference and Ignorance christians a small minded intellectually inept group of simple minded Hate and Fear Mongers.
Now what Secret Religion (Cult) has been using elected officials to quietly fly across the Atlantic to a country called Uganda, and what religion of Hate has been using these same ELECTED officials to influence christian Hate Doctrine in Uganda, oh yeah the religion of Hate and Feed they call themselves christians (Cult).
Now this piece of rbid you waste wants to talk about the ELECTED President, (must be disappointing not having a APPOINTED president, anyway, using his pulpit of Hate< Misinformation, Lies and Twisted Truths to advance his Religion of Hate, this Clown who is secretly behind the pushing for the mandated DEATH of a person for sexual preference, this Hate Monger who is a charlatan of belief to further his WHITE SUPREMACIST. NAZI agenda through fear Hatred and Lies.
Yet NONE of the members from the religion of Hate, Ignorance, Intolerance or Indifference standup to condemn such actions, oh that is right we are talking about the Gutless wonders who claimis are we speak Collectively We take accountability individually. Christians are to be dispised and spit upon, for the lack of xourage to speak out against this HATE and FEAE MONGER.
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