Daily Show: Cliff Notes for Bush's Press Conference
By SilentPatriot Thursday Sep 20, 2007 11:28am
For those of us who have a hard time understanding President Bush's rambling, nonsensical press conferences, Jon breaks it down. He also gets a few good jabs in at feckless Democrats and idiotic Republican Senators.
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Love it
Of course Townhall.com saw it differently - http://www.townhall.com/blog/g/cef8b898-60fe-4374-8c94-50bae6ad0166
This article does nothing to clear ANYTHING up, who was President Bush talkng about, then? How was Stewart lying? WOW!!!!!
...and how was it out of context???
BEAUTIFUL! GO GET THE BASTARDS, JON, you guys and Keith Olbermann are what keeps my hope alive, ALONG WITH MOVEON.ORG!
Hee-hee, the Pelosi-Reid inauguration love-child was funny.
I cannot express what a complete and utter embarassment it is to live in a state represented by a louse like Chambliss. Particularly an area with two bases in less than 50 miles. Makes me so ill.
C'mon John. You're in a battle of wits with unarmed men. Too easy dude.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! He actually said Nelson Mandela is dead? That wasn't a dub? It was a dubya? Holy shit!
Mandela....
dead....
It is always refreshing to see the head of the government remind us that government run programs are a bad thing. I always get a chuckle when NO ONE in the fucking room calls him on all his bullshit. If he as the head of the government is admitting that government run programs are a bad, he is admitting that since he is responsible for the government, he is indeed a bad manager. But no, Bush could go to a press conference and say how he just had sex with six different farm animals, and the press would just write it down like "ah, sex with farm animals, OK..."
Since we have our very own MBA prez, I am expecting Ford's chairman giving a press conference in which he reminds what a piece of shit his cars are and why owning them would be a bad thing.
I dunno what school of business Bush et al went to, but for the sorry state of the US economy and government I am venturing to guess that it must not have been a good one. In fact if they were to do exactly the opposite of what they learned, maybe we all be better off? Just a suggestion...
god damed nancy hows that draining the political swampland in dc working out fer ye?
Ricky Bones @ 2:
Bush could go on camera, kill and drink a newborn's blood. And the jackasses at town hall would make sure that anyone reporting on the atrocity just committed were in fact taking the human sacrifice by the president out of context. Who are you going to believe them or your lying eyes?
It is just surreal at this point...
Bush's Mandela comment has (amazingly) been taken literally. I know it's hard to appreciate that Bush is capable of using a metaphor, but that's what his reference to Mandela was. He was talking about figurative Iraqis who may have fulfilled that role.
If not for Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, Keith Olbermann, Huffington Post, Crooks and Liars, DailyKos, and MoveOn.org (just to mention a few) we would all be in the dark on what is really going on with this administration. And to those of you that have a closed mind to the truth I feel sorry for you. Thank you all for being there and not afraid of telling it like it is.
im sure we killed most of them dureing our shock and roll attack!
The Republicans are TURDS, and the Democrats are a plugged up TOILET. Now we have shit falling out on the floor. Anybody got a plunger?
Vic @ 13:
The metaphor was stupid, his use of the metaphor was even "stupider."
He has the cognitive powers of a six year old and it shows.
In any case, am I the only one who thinks Bush was either drunk off his ass, or stoned out of his mind during that press conference. The slurred speech, the mannerisms, and the complete lack of coherent thought and speech. Are people in this country really that fucking stupid to even consider such an appearance by the head of state to be even close to admisible
just who were these assholes that asked him where all the nelson mandellas were?
Vic @ 13:
I never got that Bush was "taken literally" by anyone. What I "got" out of it was a moron who, in the midst of trying to have a near intelligent conversation, spewed the most inept, insipid, ill-considered and flat-out idiotic analogy he could muster. Add to it the pedantic and condescending tone that he usually employs with those lesser lights who don't grasp his warped vision, and it's just one more glaring embarrassment for our nation's esteem.
If someone actually wrote that that for him as a talking point, ugh, what contemptible ignorance.
If you post the Clinton interview please be sure to include the moment of zen. Even more
hilariousgod awful than this clip, but from the same press-er, Dumbya offers up this nugget in response to a question about the economy(paraphrased by memory):"I dunno, you'll have to ask an economist. I think I got C in economics 101.heh-heh-heh I am good at cutting taxes though."
The contrast between the two presidents is to much for my words. "Jesus Fucking Christ" was all I could say after that.
Allow me to coin a new phrase in the form of an SAT analogy:
Fonzie is to 'Jump the Shark' is to a television show
as
Dubya is to 'Monkey Fell Off the Wagon' is to an entire fucking country!
George Walker Bush is the leader of the Free World. Say it to yourself slowly. Very slowly. And try not to smile. Bet you can't do it.
The Senate should censure Bush for his 'Democrat' party remarks. Enough of this dumbass chimp and his inability to pronounce the parties name. But that might require a spine so we can forget that.
SweethAtheist @ 14:
Thank you for saying what I'm thinking. Well done!
Patthemokey @ 21:
Talk about this walking cum stain and not smile? Yeah, I think I can manage that.
Dr. Who @ 17:
No, you are not alone. I'm with you and my guess is millions of other sentient thinking individuals are as well. Bush is certifiably insane.
Vic @ 13:
You see... I'm not sure that would work. As instrumental as Mendela was in ending apartheid in South Africa... he and the ANC did it without an intervening military force. So, right there we already have one strike against us in finding an Iraqi "Mendela". Additionally, the ANC was in cahoots with the Communists — the US biggest foe at the time. So... following that... what Bush wants is a charismatic leader that has ties to terrorists organizations to help restore order to the country?
"President" Bush is nothing but a sad looser. I feel terribly sorry for the 54 million plus people that voted for this fucking liar in 04.
If someone out there is a psychologist, is there something wrong with this man? If I scream "fire!" in a theater and people die by running out the doors, I would be charged with murder. But this idiot lies to the world about WMD's and 3500+ of our bravest and brightest die in Iraq in vein and what does President Bush get as his punishment? Nothing!
This is a joke.
Patthemokey @ 21:
I can do it. But I somehow end up crying.
I often wonder what would happen if President Bush were to reverse himself and say this is all wrong and do a 180 on his policies. Would he end up in the same predicament as Ed Norton's character in the end of Fight Club, when he tried to call off Project Mayhem? I wonder!
The Lionel Hutz bit about the Democrats killed me. I laughed out loud.
ThunderMonkey @ 26:
Yes I tell you he's a genius.
Mandela rotted for a few years in jail before he renounced the use of violence.
Now, if you jail enough iraqis long enough at least one will a) renounce violence b) be charismatic c) will unite almost all iraqis behind him.
As always you just need to follow the course.
Pure Genius!
boosh uses Cliff's Notes?
http://www.cheers-becker.de/c_cliff_02.JPG
ysbaddaden @ 32:
I thought he cheated off of Laura. Who IS Cliff...and does he have security clearance?
Liberal AND Proud @ 33:
No he cheats ON Pickles, by allowing her to do Barney.
ysbaddaden @ 34:
LAME!
It's typical hypocrisy that the same people who gave John Kerry all sorts of crap for botching a joke and acting as if he seriously insulted the troops can't believe that a comedy show might shorten a clip slightly to emphasize the idea that he may have been serious for comedic effect. Honestly, even with the entire context of the clip, things aren't really cleared up about what he was intending to say. I and I think most people would give the President the benefit of the doubt that he seriously flubbed a metaphor, but Town Hall can stuff their fake outrage after not giving other people like John Kerry the same benefit of the doubt when he flubbed a joke.
As for the democrats in Congress, I'm wonder why they think they continue to hold congress off of pity votes? I can imagine how they would have to run a campaign if they forced to be honest. 'Vote for me, I'm the victim that will give me all the bullies in congress my lunch money. Not only that, I will hide in the corner when someone else is getting beat up by Republicans since I could next. The fact that there are more democratic nerds then Republican bullies doesn't matter, GW is the meanest kid on the block and none of us want to have face him *gulp*.'
Not only do the patients who don't have doctors have no power - the doctors don't have much power anymore either. Insurance companies rule medicine. They have too much power over medical decisions and medications and they are driving the cost of medicine UP UP UP. That is the problem with the Clinton, Obama and Edwards plans as far as I can tell - we need to take the power away from private insurance companies. Why is it that Blue Cross had record breaking profits last year while individual premiums are now $400 a MONTH or more?! The government run programs are being SOLD to private companies and the reimbursements are so low many doctors simply cannot afford to contract with those insurance companies any longer. So fucking what if you have Medicaid insurance but you have to drive 300 miles to find a doctor who accepts it? That's what's going on in eastern Oregon and Washington right NOW. The system sucks and I don't think a single politician truly understands. I'm totally disgusted.
And as for our evil idiot president - may he rot in hell.
Correctionto above post@36: As for the Democrats in Congress, I’m wondering why they think they will continue to hold congress off of pity votes? I can imagine how they would have to run a campaign if they were forced to be honest.
Wow, instead of blaming the previous administration at home, we're blaming the previous administration over there.
As usual, it's clear what Bush actually means, but also as usual, he sounds stupid and/or callous.
Vic @ 13:
Kudos to Jon. A stand up comic shouldn't have to do the media's job for them.
Liberal AND Proud @ 33:
Cliff is the Secret Service's codename for Codolezza... It makes sense since the C-ffhhh and the C-zzhhh sounds are fairly similar when listened through one of them neat-o super duper secret hearing pieces that the men in black wear.
Hum, funny thing... the initials for the secret service (the president's guard of sorts) are SS, which is the same as the Schutzstaffel (hitler's guar) also known as the original SS. Funny...
Ricky Bones @ 29:
It would be awesome if all of the sudden Boosh would start to kick his own ass at a press conference. Or maybe Cheney really *is* Tyler Durden.... *ugh*
Patthemokey @ 21:
I can't say that without a puff of laughter one second and then feeling teary-eyed with sadness the next. You're right.
I wonder how much of that press conference behavior was the Lyme Disease he was treated for earlier. If that's the case, I couldn't wish Lyme Disease on my worst enemy.
Hey 30, you nailed it. For me, the most important and sadly true/funny part was the Simpsons clip. We should be a little more ticked off at the dems.
Please.
Stop saying he was making a metaphor about some figurative "Nelson Mandela of Iraq."
You are giving him too much credit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandaeism
Pretending he was making a metaphor for "the equivalent of Mandela" ignores what the real outrage is here. That "the decider" who lead/pushed us into a completely needless war did not feel it was necessary to actually learn who the people are who were to be sucked in to this conflict. As a result, he did not recognize or understand the term "Mandaeans," and simply said the closest word he actually knew.
Dr. Who @ 42:
Funny thing...I thought Guar was the name of a Heavy Metal band.
Mandela is dead! WTF?????????
Cythraul @ 46:
Ironically it seems that the persecution/racial cleansing of the Mandeans was relatively subdued during Saddam. But their number have been thinning at exponential rates after the invasion... So "mandelas" are dead thanks to Bush not Saddam... oh, the irony.
It would be funny, but now it is reaching the level of tragic surrealism.
Doctor Who @ 49:
Speaking of tragically surreal, if the conversation he is speaking of actually took place, think how the person who was asking him must have felt...
Q: "Where are the Mandaeans?"
Bush: "Mandela is dead, because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas!"
(Questioner walks away shocked and saddened.)
You mean like this?
http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/history/buddhist-art/images/mandala1...
Groovy man!
Vic @ 13:
Amazingly he seemed to really think Mandela was dead. And amazingly, whoever wrote that for him to use was actually more braindead than Dumbya.
So when someone says "Bush is off his rocker" we shouldn't really take it literally, it's just a metaphor for, for, ugh, for he is sitting in another chair tonight, right?
Cythraul @ 46:
If we were talking about anyone else I may have accepted that, but we're talking about the guy who admitted that he didn't know there was a difference between a Sunni and a Shi'ia. You expect him to know what Mandaeism is? Now, that's funny.
A Richard Head @ 16:
Vic @ 13:
Check Walter Reed. They ....might??? (by now).
OOPS Vic, don't know how yours got ont here too. Was meant for A Richard Head @ 16: only.
This is one of Jon's best pieces in a long time. If only the MSM would even pick up on a fraction of what he says.
....."Is fucking crazytown".....Agreed Jon, agreed... And not just in congress actually............JD
Rethugs or Losercrats, somehow always choosing the lesser evil doesn't feel right this time around. Whoever the next president is, we don't need another hero.
"Looking for something
We can rely on
There's gotta be something better out there
Love and compassion
Their day is coming
All else are castles built in the air
And I wonder when we are ever gonna change
Living under the fear till nothin else remains"
Suxby Shameless is concerned that GIs may have too much leave and thus develop knee problems like he did for the draft board during the Vietnam war. Fortunately the Senator has since recovered and is now an avid jogger.
[...] Jon Stewart does much better skewering Bush on this. [...]
So the reason his policy isn't working is because there is not some unnamed Iraqi patriot to take charge of the whole thing and pull Bush's ass out of the fire? You mean that this is what he was depending on all along? It's not Bush's fault because nobody else stepped up to the plate and took over?
It just gets worse and worse.
Geno in Ptown @ 27:
There was sufficient intelligence to indicate there were WMD's in Iraq. There is still plenty of evidence that its all been moved to Syria. But since asshats like Jon Stewart make a living by making it "cool" to hate the government, no one listens to things like this. No one wants to hear good news. No one wants to hear that we have plenty of good reasons to be in Iraq, because its not "cool" to support the government. Its "cool" to be against the war, no matter how much good we're doing there. You don't hear about the good we're doing there, because if the news broadcasted it, their ratings would tank, because no one wants to hear good news. "The world is going to end due to global warming!" Thats what you want to hear, because its BAD news. So thats what they give you.
I am a psychologist. What Liberals engage in throughout this country is what we call creating "self-fulfilling prophecies," which is basically forming a belief about something in the future, then unconsciously helping bring it about. When Liberals stop trying so damned hard to lose the war, and thus stop throwing wrenches in the gears of everything the GOP is doing to win the war, we might actually win, to the benefit of millions of Iraqis, and the dismay of millions of Islamic fundamentalists around the world. I don't know if you remember those two buildings that used to stand in New York City. You know, the really tall ones? Remember those? Yeah, they looked identical from the outside, I believe they were called the World Trade Center? Jogging your memory yet? Well get this: those buildings were destroyed in an act of war on our own soil by Islamic fundamentalists, who Saddam Hussein used to provide asylum, money, and weapons for.
But hey, I'm not hopping mad about Bush and the war, so you probably won't read this anyway, because I'm just not "cool," I guess.
Mike @ 61:
Quoted words of George W. Bush:
''We have no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved with the Sept. 11 attacks."
What does a psychologist call someone who cannot accept reality? Have some more "cool" aid Mike.
Mike...
What about Bush and the neocons believing that the Second Coming is going to happen in their lifetime and they want to usher it?
You're way, way off base in regards to Saddam harboring and aiding fundalmentalists. The terrorists hiding in his country is the same as the terrorist cell that launched those attacks against us hiding in this country. So, does that mean President Bush aiding them? What about Saudi Arabia, where the majority of the hijackers were from? Why didn't we attack that country. They're not helping our "war on terrorism". They won't even turn over bank records for any of the men so we could follow the money.
The "evidence" of WMDs was old. Hell, of course we knew that Saddam had WMDs, we (the U.S.A.) kept the receipts. We sold them WMDs to use against Iran back in the 1980s, but he also used the same weapons against his own people (back then). While we're on the subject... we gave the Taliban weapons and the means to fight the Russians in Afghanistan during the same period, does that make us guilty of aiding terrorists?
Best show on TV.
Mike-
I'm a physician in Iraq, serving in the Army. If you think this war/occupation is working, you're welcome to come take my spot. We're bleeding down the Army with no end in sight. Partition is the only viable option at this point.
To the Dems/ progressives: Why not make the president come up with the money to pay for the war out of this years budget. No more supplimentals. No more deficit spending. If you want to have a war, you have to pay for it. Spread the pain around a little and the people will start to care a little more.
with the passing of each day that this guy is allowed to remain in office, the presidency of the US falls further into the depths of irrelevance in the eyes of the world. he has his dumb it down act down so well that it is now his persona. perhaps there is not an intellect behind the facade. what if that's all there is. well, let me tell you, that's all there is. Sure, he has some polish, some intellect as a result of time spent at Yale, even though much of that time was spent sleeping and cheating and evading his guard duty, "daddy, I don't want to go, can't you hep me?" it still had to had to rub off a bit even if by osmosis, but is he the standard we should be looking at to lead this country. whenever, he finds himself losing ground, which is every day, he reverts to his old standard, we need to protect the freedoms of the american people, our soldiers are the best in the world, the bravest, the most courageous, and lastly if we give up on the people of iraq, they will never have a democracy in their country and they will forced to live under the despotic rule of the al qaida. (sp). what platitudes, but isn't that act getting a bit old, even for corn shucking apple pie eating middle america. when are they going to wake up to the evil this guy has perpetrated. come out from under the tractor and smell the coffee, either that or sacrifice another son or daughter to george bush's war. a war he can direct your kids into and feign compassion and tears for, but a war nonetheless, that he would never enter into as a physical combatant.
Nothing new !!
we have more : www.iraqisoutside.com
ThunderMonkey @ 53:
I just read about the Mandaeans. No way Georgie has ever even heard of them. And what the hell would they have to do with the question anyway? They are an obscure religious sect.
Did anyone really hear the question? Was it Mandela or Mandeaen? Because it could make sense either way. And likewise Bush screwed it up either way.
Happy Autumnal Equinox - and death to the fascist oppressors of the masses.
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